Over the past few weeks I have connected with many friends and colleagues who have spent their adult life connected to and around Talent Acquisition, Human Resources and Learning and Development. This does not mean they are experts of how to do those things right, it does however give them insight into some fundamental dos and don’ts of people management training 101.
As we prattled through our wine and cheese, or Chai Latte the things I was told about how people are being treated in today’s busy workplace actually compelled me to write about it. After my nineteenth coffee connection occurred to me, that there is an epidemic of the “I don’t give a shit about you” management philosophy.
I heard things like:
“My manager comes to our 1 on 1s and tells me about her initiatives, what she is up to, how her performance is measured. Not once does she ask me about my barriers or challenges or what I want. Why am I even in a one on one?”
“I sat down to talk to my manager about the disconnection between us and she leaned forward, (her version of leaning in) and said, “Listen, I am the boss, you work for me, we don’t need to connect or have a great relationship, I don’t take coaching from you.”
“The last four times I was scheduled to meet for my 1 on 1, my manager cancelled. I have not sat down and talked to her for 2 months.”
“My new boss came in and started having key department meetings and not inviting me, so I put my feelers out and left. I happily walked away from 27 open recs and her crap”.
“I asked my boss on the vision for our division”, he said, “Vision, I don’t think about the future. It is only about how we produce today.”
“I told my boss I was bored and needed more challenge in the work”, she said, “Really, do you want me to parade circus animals here to keep you entertained? You make so much money, be grateful and get back on the phone.”
I can go on and on, and I think you get the thematic message.
I spend my days researching and speaking to people about the limited full time highly skilled people resources available today to do the work we need done. The facts are there are close to 48 million less highly skilled people available to work today than there were 5 years ago, and the new people coming in to the workforce are entry level, they do not have the experience, or the skills to step right in to highly skilled customer facing roles.
So……if the management method of “I don’t give a shit about you” doesn’t shift, good people will find their way to other opportunities and the “I don’t give a shit manager “ will soon find themselves out of management. Between the uber challenging labor market and how many companies are needing to hire, companies simply cannot afford to employ people managers who do not care about their people.
Every company is now or soon will be facing a need to improve talent strategy and managers everywhere will need to become better at engaging and optimizing the people that work for us.
We all heard the phrase, “People don’t leave companies, they leave managers.” This is true in over 65% of the cases of unwanted employee turnover.
If a manager wants an engaged, productive team; they need to take the time to bond with their team members. They need to make one on ones a priority and use that time for developing a connection built on acknowledgment, coaching and two-way feedback. Also and most important, authenticity in one on ones and addressing real issues and concerns is a key to these meetings being effective and useful.
When a manager holds the spot light on themselves and their pervasive concern is “all about me”, their employees react by detaching. If as a manager your glaring concerns are for how you are doing with your boss, when you will get a raise or promotion, or how hard your job is; your people sniff our your self focus and become ambivalent to you as you are to them. It is the law of physics.
What these “I don’t give a shit” managers are missing is that in order to get promoted and lead people for the long term, your people must feel you are a good leader. Your people need to be engaged, productive and confident in your guidance, they need to trust your coaching and your feedback.
People are smart, if they are skilled and in a high demand role, they know there are plentiful opportunities in another department or working for a better manager or in another company all together. Eventually if they do not feel connected to their boss, and valued in their role, they will leave.
I myself have been accused of being an “I don’t give a shit about you” manager, and I took the feedback and got coaching on how to hire better and be a source of development for my people.
If you find yourself as a new manager and the stress of performing and leading your team to perform is beating you down and you are not at your best. Get a coach. Spend the money. Invest in yourself or request financial assistance for your development from your company. Don’t put it off – Your future as a leader of people demands it.
Best of Success,
Magi
