Avoid communicating insensitivity. It may be that you've accepted an invitation to a social or business event, and then your own unexpected guest shows up on the day or weekend of the event. Never put your host on the spot by calling to ask if you can bring your guest along. And never simply fail to show up without explanation. The host has probably already paid for the food and planned space for a specific number of attendees. Instead, call the host and decline with your explanation.

Then wait to hear the response. If the host accepts your regrets, thank him or her and hang up. If there are other last-minute cancellations, extra food, and plenty of room, the host may graciously extend the invitation to your guest. By all means, go. You're all set. The difference in the transaction is that you've now communicated sensitivity in the situation, and your host has the opportunity to accept your regrets or re-issue the invitation under the new circumstances. Making assumptions of "all is well and all are welcome" lies at the heart of many strained family and work relationships.