Do you really own your job? You "own" your job - to the extent you possibly can - precisely when managers clarify exactly what you are supposed to do and exactly how you are supposed to do it. You "own" your job most of all in those moments when you know what is NOT up to you and what is, when you understand exactly what is required and exactly where you have discretion to make decisions and take action.

The truth is that most managers who adopt a "facilitative" approach to managing - rather than an explicitly "directive" approach - do so because it's easier to sidestep the uncomfortable tension that comes from telling other people what to do.

But you need clear marching orders. There is nothing insulting about receiving orders. Marching orders are simply mandatory directions. If you don't like the idea of receiving marching orders, then think of it as if you are in business for yourself. Think of yourself as a vendor in relation to your bosses, and think of your bosses as customers. Every time you get an assignment from a boss, think of it as if your boss is placing a work-order or a contract with you as a vendor.

What are the key elements YOU need in any "work-order" from any customer?
- You need clear goals: That means a list of concrete deliverables.
- You need clear guidelines for every goal: That means a statement of all the specifications and requirements for each individual goal.
- You need real deadlines: That means a schedule of deliverables with appropriate time-budgets for all the steps necessary to meet those deliverables.

If you are expected to do something, then you need to talk through the work with your boss in order to spell out in vivid detail for yourself exactly what is expected. If you are expected to do something in a particular way, then you need to talk through the work with your boss until you understand in vivid detail exactly what specifications you are supposed to follow.

At the very least, you need to know the bare minimum requirements and the gold standard of performance; the cardinal rules of conduct and the outer limits of your discretion. No matter how self-sufficient, responsible, and hard-working you may be, nobody can function successfully on a sustained basis without at least some structure and boundaries to your work.