Only the rarest of managers has that way of talking that inspires and motivates people. Is there any way to imitate that special way they have of talking?
When I think about performance coaching, I still think of Frank Gorman - the greatest teacher I have ever known. No matter how much time passes between our visits, I can always hear his voice in my head. There is something magical about the words he says and how he says them.
He might say, "The only thing that matters is your thumbs," and he would tell me that over and over again for weeks. "Pull in your thumbs; press them hard against your palms, so hard that the tendons in your forearms rise up." See, Frank Gorman is my karate teacher. Here I would be sweating and straining from physical exhaustion, trying to keep my eyes straight ahead, my chin down, my shoulders back, my elbows in, my back straight, my hips square, my feet pressed into the floor and twisting to tighten my leg muscles and there would be Frank Gorman yelling, somehow in a whisper, "Your thumbs; pull in your thumbs... the only thing that matters is your thumbs."
And then one day, the only thing that matters is... something else: my eyes, my chin, my shoulders, and on and on and on. Well, many years ago I asked Frank, "How can my thumbs be the only thing that matters in karate? How can that be? And by the way it changes all the time: One day my thumbs are the only things that matter and in a couple of weeks it's my eyes." Frank Gorman smiled at me that day and said, "Nobody can learn karate in a day or a year. All we have is today. So what can I teach you right now? What can you focus on right now? What can I help you improve right now? The only thing that matters is what we are doing here right now." I still get goose bumps when I think about that day.
One thing I learned from this great master is the power of focusing on one detail at a time in the course of a long patient life of training and self improvement.
But the deepest message I've learned from Frank Gorman so far is that the unyielding force of one teacher's persistent voice can be so powerful. As the student, one has no choice other than to focus acutely on whatever he or she is doing -- right now.
The teacher reminds the student to stay "into" the work because this teacher, like few others, requires the student to be great. This teacher reminds the student to be purposeful about every single detail. To build skills one day at a time. From focusing, the student learns focus itself.
Talking like a great teacher is something that can be learned. Should you remember the voice of a great teacher or coach in your own head? Should you try to imitate that voice?
Well, that's a great place to start. Over time, you'll develop your own style.
BONUS MANAGEMENT BEST PRACTICE
Can you think of an example in your own experience in the workplace when you have worked for, or worked with, or at least witnessed in action, a person you would consider a good "performance coach"? What about outside the workplace? Answer these questions about that person -- what traits did this person have that made you consider this person a "performance coach"? What did this performance coach actually DO when it came to coaching? What kinds of words did he/she say? How did he/she talk? What do you learn from this?