What’s in a Word? Part III
by Rebecca Harris, MA, LPC
The subtle difference between the verbs “to try” and “to do”.

When I was a young person, and I was told “We’ll see”, in response to a request I made, I usually expected the outcome to be negative. It could have been a question about going somewhere, buying something, or doing something I wanted to do. For some reason, not being given a definitive answer left the door open for disappointment rather than to expecting a positive outcome.

As an EAP Counselor, listening to people talk about their lives, relationships, jobs, etc., I often find myself thinking about this when people seem tentative about what they say they plan to do, and what they actually intend to do. If I say I’ll try, at least I’m making an effort I could reason. If it doesn’t work out, I can fall back on my rationale that I tried.

The verb “to try” is defined as an “attempt to do or accomplish; to make an effort”.
“To do” is defined as “to perform or carry out”. The difference I believe is so subtle, that it may be unnoticeable most of the time because of how we use these terms. An example would be, “I will try to do that today.” The part about “trying” leaves an opening or possible excuse for not “doing”. I can always say, “Well at least I tried”. But did I really?

This month as we think about the impact word usage can have on our way of thinking, listen to how you use these words, and if maybe the message you are sending is leaving the opening for not accomplishing your goals.

I can “try” a new food, or “try” a new route to work. However if I am really serious about getting the results in my life that I want, then maybe I need to stop “trying” and as a famous athletic company would say, “Just do it!!!”

We think a thought, then feel a feeling and then choose a behavior.

Next week’s tip will focus on listening to the words we use, and the power they have to change our perception of what we can accomplish.

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George "Bud" Wassell, M.S., LPC, CEAP
Director, Solutions EAP
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Middletown, CT 06457
800-526-3485
fax: 860-704-6221
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