Many people listen poorly because they have no
intention of listening well. They're preoccupied.
They're too busy talking so that they can feel
understood.

Have you ever heard people say that they don't have
time for something: golf, a fundraiser, church, or
dinner with a friend? What they mean is that something
isn't important enough to them yet to make time for it.

The same is true for listening. We'll find ourselves
poor listeners until we make up our minds we want to
become good listeners. Listening requires conscious
effort and a willing mind. It's a decision to take an
action, not just waiting your turn to talk.

Listening involves actively processing what the other
person is saying to you: clarifying, asking questions,
drawing out additional information, reading between the
lines, giving feedback, verifying understanding, analyzing,
and drawing conclusions about what you've heard.

What's the payoff? Listening keeps you informed. It
increases your impact when you do speak. It gives you
a negotiating edge and powerful influence. Best of all,
others will love you.

Whether you're sitting around the conference table in a
team meeting or the dining table for your Thanksgiving
meal, make a conscious effort to listen. Listening is a
gift you give to yourself and to others. Give it on
purpose--not just when forced.