Co-authored by Louellen Essex and Mitchell Kusy

You have an inbox full of emails, a project report that was due yesterday, and you arrived at the office a half hour late due to a traffic accident on your commute. As if things weren't stressful enough, your short-tempered boss is now standing over you with a pile of notes that you have to turn into a presentation for a prospective client today by one--and he adds, ominously, that this may be "the most important presentation of your career."


Cranky bosses, egotistical bosses, unreasonable bosses--we've all had them. They magnify workplace stress many times over. In a 2006 CareerBuilder survey, 1 out of 10 employees named a difficult boss as the main source of their workplace stress.


The question is, how do you handle a difficult boss so you can focus on the most important aspect of your day: feeling fulfilled at accomplishing your work well?


The fact is that you have to establish an effective working relationship with him or her, and that requires more than just patience and teeth-gritting on an employee's part. The dynamic between a boss and a subordinate is a complex one, which necessitates that you use a structured, careful set of strategies to navigate through the emotional minefield.


Here are some tried-and-true strategies for handling a difficult boss.


Prepare an interests list. Create a well-thought-out list of your interests as well as those of your boss. It's important to identify your boss's possible interests too. This simple activity prepares you for dialogue, and trains you to broaden your own perspective, which is essential to every negotiation. Think of solving the problem as a joint effort, focusing on both set of concerns.


Examine your assumptions. Look at your own assumptions about the relationship or your work environment. For example: "She/he is going to shut me down if I pursue XYZ." Weed out those that are likely to be erroneous or based on false beliefs. Avoiding premature judgments about your boss and his/her ideas helps your keep an open mind.


Don't react to emotional outbursts. If your boss loses his/her temper, put aside all issues relating to addressing the problem. Instead, focus on his/her emotions. For example, you might say: "I understand you're annoyed." Mirroring is key here.


Address the problem. Next, address the problem by using language such as, "Tell me what you'd like me to do." You might need to negotiate a bit and suggest alternative courses of action. For example, you might say, "Well, I know that you know I only have three hours to create this presentation. I'll do the absolute best that I can, and I would appreciate it if you could help me by keeping all outside interruptions and unrelated tasks to a minimum." Any boss will appreciate that kind of response, and will probably bend over backward now to help you.


Manage your emotions. If you are the one who's angry, manage your emotions. Take three breaths. Count to ten. Do whatever it takes to gain control of your feelings. Remember that your boss isn't difficult because of you. It's not about you, so you don't have to react. Don't send out angry emails or rant with coworkers. Wait until you cool down to talk to your boss or take any action.


Use the power of good relationship building before and during all negotiations with a difficult boss. People sometimes forget than former opponents often make the strongest allies. You may find that your deliberate, careful approach to working things through with your boss and trying to see his/her point of view will earn you respect over time. It may even earn you a promotion!