For those old enough to remember the early '60s album title  song You Talk Too Much, you probably can't even count the number of times the tune has popped into your head when speaking with certain, let's say vocally stimulated, coworkers. If old Joe Jones could just get a royalty for every mental broadcast...

Despite those excessive users, conversations drive most key internal business practices. Individual pay, goal setting, problem solving, feedback and most other activities occur in conjunction with a conversation.

If your experience is anything like mine, these conversations have not always been helpful. You, me, and a host of others have at some point in our careers met Attila The Hun who didn't think we would get the message unless it was sufficient to quell the Roman advance. After we became supervisors, we may have even discovered an occasional strain of Attila in ourselves. When something goes wrong, the conversation looks more like blaming and accusing instead of building employee capabilities through effective problem solving.

Then there are moments when we have to tell someone their performance is unacceptable, and we get squeamish. It's a painful exercise, so we mention five or six positive things the employee is doing and slip in a general suggestion on how to improve instead of directly addressing the problem and providing specific actions for improvement. The employee walks out of the meeting not even sure what the conversation was about.

Of course, having the right conversation is just as important as managing it effectively.

Consider performance appraisals. Only 10 to 30 percent of managers say the process is useful despite all the training to teach us how to do it right.

At issue is the fact that many supervisors are trying to combine conversations about performance and pay when, in fact, the relationship is insignificant at best when considering a merit pay range of 2-4%. Further muddying the process is that the supervisor is told to provide feedback when the only thing on the employee's mind is "How much am I going to get?"

Let's have the right conversations and discuss base pay as a function of market rates in one conversation and performance ratings in another since they are so loosely connected anyway. We know from research and experience that the standard range of raises doesn't motivate anyone, but can certainly demotivate most everyone.

Frequently, appraisal systems require us to set annualized individual goals for employees even though most goals require commitment from others and don't fit into neatly established accounting timelines. So we commit employees to activities, instead of results, and we plug them into the new fiscal year with the intention of following up at appraisal time.

What has to change? First of all, conversations should center around business needs and corresponding timeframes, not financial reporting requirements and artificial constraints. Why set goals on an annual fiscal year basis when goals should be established and completed as required by the business regardless of annual reporting? Conversations should build employee literacy about the business so that employees can set their own objectives according to business needs which may suggest individual or group initiatives are most appropriate.

It is not uncommon for supervisors to be encouraged to document performance problems on appraisal forms. But why wait until then? That's the wrong conversation to be having on an annual basis. Conversations with under-performing or disruptive employees should occur at the time they are needed and the conversations should be documented then, not later. These conversations should look very different from other conversations about performance.

When we do appraisals and try to get employees to take greater responsibility for their performance, we tend to accept total responsibility for the process. We initiate the conversations, gather the information for what was accomplished, make the assessment, deliver the feedback, generate goals for the coming year, and make sure the work gets done. These are not enabling conversations that generate personal commitment.

Feedback and coaching conversations should occur frequently throughout the year with employees taking primary responsibility for making them happen. Employees who are responsible for their own development and success should obtain feedback from primary sources, request resources and development opportunities, and report on commitments. The supervisor's role is to facilitate the process, provide coaching when needed, and ensure employees are getting what they need from the experience in order to succeed.

Our conversations are powerful in influencing workplace cultures and consequent behaviors. Whether we manage our conversations like Attila, or otherwise, it will have an effect. And we must remember that having the right conversation is just as important as having the conversation right.

Trying it on for fit: Organizations as diverse as the Madison City Police Department, SAS, General Motors Powertrain Division, and others have shifted away from traditional performance appraisals with encouraging results.

Following are key workplace conversations to replace traditional appraisals:

GOAL SETTING-Employees identify opportunities to positively impact the core business and develop commitments with supervisors and others. As goals are accomplished, new goals are established and the process continues.

PERFORMANCE ISSUES-Supervisors meet with employees as soon as problems demand more than normal coaching. Conversations are documented.

FEEDBACK-Feedback and coaching occurs as necessary. The employee is accountable for his or her success. The supervisor provides support.

SUCCESSION PLANNING-The supervisor and employee meet annually to review and discuss preparations for potential succession opportunities.

PAY-The supervisor meets with employees annually to explain base pay increases and bonus or incentive programs.

Send an e-mail and let me know what you learn from your experiences.  I would love to hear from you!

Kevin Herring is co-author of Practical Guide for Internal Consultants, and President of Ascent Management Consulting.  Ascent specializes in creating business solutions through effective management, workplace cultures and organization systems.

Kevin can be reached at 520-742-7300, kevinh@ascentmgt.com or www.ascentmgt.com.

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