The consultant with whom I spoke at DDI had recommended that I plan on spending two to four hours reviewing the pre-work provided online. The package consisted of roughly 70 pages containing background information, financials, and history of the company, the org chart, product descriptions and some competitive profiles. Lots to absorb. And, probably not too different from other participants in an assessment experience, I ended up reviewing a lot of the material the night before. Late. Very late.

I arrived the morning of my assessment fully caffeinated and ready for the day. My emotions were a mixture of excitement, anticipation and a little nervousness as well. I reminded myself that this was a research day, and would, in no direct way, impact my career success. However, I imagined that the nervousness would be a much larger percentage of my emotional mix had I been up for a big job that I really wanted.

After a brief orientation, I was left to begin the simulation. Sitting in my comfortable office, complete with everything I would need for the day, I began reading the various emails that were arriving at a rapid pace. Uh-oh ... public relations problem here. Over here, an ethical question on whether or not to proceed on a deal, a coaching session required there, the need to do some joint development work with an unwilling partner ... and the list continues. Oh, and by the way, the need to develop strategy recommendations on the future of the business by the end of the day. Sure, a typical situation for any new executive on her first day on the job, right?

Well, it´s a simulation silly, so of course, we have to suspend our disbelief somewhat. And, it´s easy to get into the role given the quick immersion and short deadlines. I would need to take action, despite my lack of understanding, and hope for the best. Some things came pretty easy. The coaching session felt pretty comfortable. Mind you, I am a coach by training, so that should be no big surprise. Grappling with the financial data, well, that´s another story. My finance classes in business school are a distant memory and it´s been awhile since I´ve been responsible for big budgets and data analyses. Note to self ... if I ever get a real job like this, I´ll have to take some classes on financial acumen and hire a great financial advisor to support me.

On the ethical issues, easy, do what´s right and know that it will pay off in the future. On the public relations issue, mmmm ... get an expert in and commit to setting some policy and providing some training for future.

And then came the most humbling time of the day ...  a role-play with a colleague who was less than excited about collaborating on a project in which I needed his resources. I knew, as well as I knew anything, that the secret to this conversation was to meet him where he was, find some common ground and ask him what he wanted from me. Is that what I did? Not on your life! Instead, I focused in an almost compulsive way, on trying to entice him to give me what I was told to get. Did it go anywhere? Not really. Did it feel awful? Absolutely. Was I happy about it? Not even a little. And yet, on the drive home and subsequent hours of reflection, I came to see how often that very thing happens, despite our best intentions and knowing better. In some strange way, I came to feel powerless in that interaction, like I was the agent for someone else who had asked me to secure him or her certain resources. And, despite knowing better, I focused on getting those resources at any price.

How often do I try to force my agenda on unwilling participants? How often have I been on the receiving end of that equation? So, I came away with several gems from this experience:

• An inside view of Assessment/Acceleration Centers and their many merits
• An appreciation for simulations in helping us expose our natural tendencies as well as what we do when we feel powerless
• A reminder of the importance of one´s state of  "readiness" for change and the importance of honoring the process of letting much-needed participants become ready before driving ahead

I was also left with some unanswered questions about the Assessment Center process and experience. Check back for a future blog when I pursue answers to these open questions in a conversation I´m about to have soon with Bill Byham, Co-founder of DDI.

Also, I invite your comments and/or questions on Assessment Centers and anything else leadership-related. Email me at kelmhirst@hr.com