While it may seem counter-intuitive --- to be an effective leader, you have to be selfish and work on #1 first. In other words, you´ve got to get your own head screwed on right first, before you can help anyone else be a great follower. And it is those followers who are responsible for 85 percent of your success.

What does being selfish mean?

• Knowing yourself: Self-awareness is without a doubt the most important leadership attribute. Without it, the other skills won´t do you much good.

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• Taking ownership: Without ownership nothing will change. Taking responsibility for everything that is going on in your organization allows you to choose a more constructive emotional response. Managing yourself means that you´ve developed the ability to deal with the leaderships´ ups and downs-but especially the downs-in a constructive and positive manner, by "reframing" and by interrupting "triggers" that take you on a downward spiral.

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• Motivating yourself: Delaying gratification and reigning in impulsiveness is what it takes to become an excellent leader.

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• Killing your ego: Ego has probably destroyed more organizations than any other human emotion. After all, ego, right along with greed and envy, is one of the most powerful destroyer of relationships.

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• Developing charisma: Social competence, people skills or charisma is the ability to communicate and negotiate effectively, decrease conflict, and form strong personal bonds with team members. In other words, it is the ability to make the previous habits come together like a world-class orchestra so that team members unconditionally accept and like you.

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As William Penn said, "No man is fit to command another that cannot command himself."