Letting Go Of The Ego-Based Self To Be A Better Leader
True leadership is not the act of leading, but is rather cultivating the fertile ground within others
Posted on 09-30-2019, Read Time: - Min
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This article is an excerpt from CEO Alka Dhillon’s book, THE OM FACTOR: A WOMEN’S SPIRITUAL GUIDE TO LEADERSHIP
The key to successful leadership is to inspire others by tuning into their individual vibration and aligning it with that of the goal. This means leadership has nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with the type of person you are or your strengths or shortcomings. That perception is completely ego-based.
According to Webster’s Dictionary, the ego is “The “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing and distinguishing itself from the selves of others.” Everything that ego-based persons think about their identity comes from things that are outside of themselves, such as physical appearance, possessions, social stature, failures, successes, what they do for a living, and political affiliation, etc. These are a way to answer the question “Who am I?” without having to open yourself to the person asking about you, or, even more importantly, really knowing who you truly are—your essence.
It is an easy way to hide by simply saying, “I am a Project Manager at a Big 4 Consulting firm,” or “I am a mother” or “I am the CEO of a Fortune 100 company.” The ego-based mind feels comfortable in this space—the space of a self-painted reality onto the canvas of perceived existence. The ego-mind uses whichever colors, textures, or shapes it fancies that enable it to feel in control and safe.
If you are surrounded by a group of mothers, you may choose to say, “I am a mother to three beautiful children and a member of Junior League.” If you are at a networking event you may choose to say, “I am the CFO of a large pharmaceutical firm, live in McLean, Virginia, and I am very involved in these particular charities.” Both of those descriptions look beautiful on the canvas that you painted, and both are very different. Both also describe you in a light that appears to be flattering. You feel a self-created sense of acceptance, and if you are lucky, even that you are liked.
It is extremely important for the ego-mind to be liked and respected. The fact that all of these sensations and feelings are an illusion and what is transient does not matter to the ego-mind. The ego-mind is fueled and sustained by fear, insecurity, and the desire to be accepted. As long as these things exist, the ego-mind will continue to thrive.
True Leadership
When we live at the level and vibration of the ego-mind, we cannot possibly be connected to God. We cannot even be in the presence of God. Spirit, or the soul, or divine consciousness cannot survive at this level of vibration. Being connected to God at the spiritual level of our higher selves allows us to detach from our ego-based self so that we can lead more effectively. The most effective leaders are fully aware that it is not about them; it is about inspiring others to be their best selves.
So, in effect, true leadership is not the act of leading but is rather cultivating the fertile ground within others. Both the noise of self-doubt, insecurity, and fear and the silence of the absence of love and light, are deafening. This literally, as thought leaders have said, “Edges God Out.” In other words, you will never get the true answer to “Who am I?” or be able to answer “Who are you?” until you live at the level of spirit.
Many people, because of their social and religious conditioning, believe that their connection to God is external. For them God is creativity. God is love. God is compassion. God is the universe and everything we perceive. But do all these things not come from within you, from your highest self? Have you ever felt like you were completely on top of your game or that you were making a difference in the world at large or in your world? Have you found yourself feeling like everything is happening effortlessly and harmoniously and that you just flow?
These feelings or sensations are felt by those who are in the presence of Grace or God. At this time they are experiencing the OM Factor. They understand that in order to manifest that which they desire they must connect with their highest selves, and the answers are always within and come from having that dialogue which takes place by going into silence. It’s that gap between thought A and thought B. They are connected with the vibration that creates the universe. They are enveloped in that vibration, and they radiate that vibration to everyone that comes into contact with them.
People are magnetically drawn to them and they are immensely attractive. They rarely need to think about what to do next. It just comes to them. Love just exudes from them without discretion— to every sentient being. We all know people like these. Are you one of them? If you are not, do you want to be? It is as simple as turning the lights on in a dark room. You must make a conscious choice to navigate through unchartered waters and embrace uncertainty. This is the only real way of reaching enlightenment or manifesting your deepest intentions.
Successful leadership has everything to do with the individual that is right in front of you. This is the most important person at that moment. I believe that having one style of leadership is not effective and is potentially counter-productive. Having just one style will be effective for leading those who resonate with that vibration, but not for leadership of the entire group and certainly not for every individual.
We are used to hearing, “She’s a tough cookie; don’t get on her bad side.” Or, “Oh, he’s a really nice guy; just make sure you do what he says.” Those are stereotypical perceptions that become the trademarks of leaders when masses of people believe them to be true. They are so powerful that the leader herself or himself begins to believe this to be their style, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. That does not benefit anyone. Leadership is showing others the art of the possible. It’s inspiring others to dream without boundaries and to instill confidence to believe that those dreams can actually be manifested.
So, in effect, true leadership is not the act of leading but is rather cultivating the fertile ground within others. Both the noise of self-doubt, insecurity, and fear and the silence of the absence of love and light, are deafening. This literally, as thought leaders have said, “Edges God Out.” In other words, you will never get the true answer to “Who am I?” or be able to answer “Who are you?” until you live at the level of spirit.
Many people, because of their social and religious conditioning, believe that their connection to God is external. For them God is creativity. God is love. God is compassion. God is the universe and everything we perceive. But do all these things not come from within you, from your highest self? Have you ever felt like you were completely on top of your game or that you were making a difference in the world at large or in your world? Have you found yourself feeling like everything is happening effortlessly and harmoniously and that you just flow?
These feelings or sensations are felt by those who are in the presence of Grace or God. At this time they are experiencing the OM Factor. They understand that in order to manifest that which they desire they must connect with their highest selves, and the answers are always within and come from having that dialogue which takes place by going into silence. It’s that gap between thought A and thought B. They are connected with the vibration that creates the universe. They are enveloped in that vibration, and they radiate that vibration to everyone that comes into contact with them.
People are magnetically drawn to them and they are immensely attractive. They rarely need to think about what to do next. It just comes to them. Love just exudes from them without discretion— to every sentient being. We all know people like these. Are you one of them? If you are not, do you want to be? It is as simple as turning the lights on in a dark room. You must make a conscious choice to navigate through unchartered waters and embrace uncertainty. This is the only real way of reaching enlightenment or manifesting your deepest intentions.
Successful leadership has everything to do with the individual that is right in front of you. This is the most important person at that moment. I believe that having one style of leadership is not effective and is potentially counter-productive. Having just one style will be effective for leading those who resonate with that vibration, but not for leadership of the entire group and certainly not for every individual.
We are used to hearing, “She’s a tough cookie; don’t get on her bad side.” Or, “Oh, he’s a really nice guy; just make sure you do what he says.” Those are stereotypical perceptions that become the trademarks of leaders when masses of people believe them to be true. They are so powerful that the leader herself or himself begins to believe this to be their style, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. That does not benefit anyone. Leadership is showing others the art of the possible. It’s inspiring others to dream without boundaries and to instill confidence to believe that those dreams can actually be manifested.
Author Bio
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Alka Dhillon, the Spiritual CEO, is the founder and CEO of Technalink, an IT services and management consulting firm headquartered in Tysons Corner, Virginia, serving the public and private sectors. She’s earned multiple honors, including the Top 100 Women Leaders in STEM Award and the Global Technology and Innovation Leaders Award of the Decade presented by the Women’s Economic Forum. Visit www.alkadhillon.com Follow @TheSpiritualCEO Connect Alka Dhillon |
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