Industry Research: How a 1-on-1 Saved My Career

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One of our largest advertisers simply wouldn’t call me back. The publication deadline was approaching and he hadn’t renewed for the upcoming issue. His advertisement was beautiful which contributed to the quality magazine, it had performed well for his business and his revenue was going to help us achieve some internal goals. That’s when I found out I was the problem.

He had called my boss who relayed the message to me. In short he had said, “I refuse to do business with Logan. He feels like a used car salesman and I’m not going to buy if he’s the one selling.”

My boss salvaged the deal, but I was devastated. A “break out into a hot sweat” kind of wrecked. I emotionally shut down, couldn’t pay attention at work and certainly wasn’t able to close any deals. And my slump lasted for weeks. That feedback put me on a path that could have ruined my career. I simply didn’t know how to reconcile that criticism.

Then I had a 1-on-1 with the founder of the company. He had noticed the shift in my demeanor, asked enough questions to understand the problem, and then gave me advice that changed me. He said, “Logan, you’re going to be criticized for your whole life. When you get feedback be mature enough to consider it, and if it’s accurate make a change. If not, forget it and move on.” That “moment” was only possible because my mentor knew the power of a 1-on-1 interaction.

The biggest factor in your team’s satisfaction is their relationship with their manager. Sure, financial qualifications are important, but if the relationship between individual contributor and manager is strained, money won’t solve the problem. Good organizations recognize this, but world class organizations go further by enabling managers instead of taking a top down approach to employee engagement. One of the most effective levers a manager has is their 1-on-1 meetings. Here are a few “must have” elements of a successful 1-on-1:

Personal Interactions: I don’t care how busy you are, you can spare a few minutes before jumping straight into work topics. How is the person sitting across the table? How’s their sick mom or their kid’s soccer team? Maybe they want to talk about their woodworking project. Or their new dog. There’s a solid chance they are working through a mental health issue and though you shouldn’t cross professional lines, being seen as a human will help them to feel like they matter.

A few minutes of personal interactions makes people happier at work. It means they’re cared about as a person, not just as a human resource. It opens the door for vulnerability in the future, so they know they’re safe to bring problems or concerns to you when they arise.

Priorities: Sometimes our organizational goals are “too far away” from what an individual contributor does on a daily basis. Annual goals don’t always translate nicely into a to do list. Managers can help by defining priorities for their team members. These should be near term efforts that will help the person positively impact the business. What should he or she be focused on for the next week, month or quarter? These priorities, if clearly understood and consistently communicated, create a powerful focus. People are more likely to succeed if they have direction and priorities inform the discussion.

Shared Agendas: If you’re 1-on-1 is completely focused on your own agenda items, then you’re missing the point. Your team member has obstacles they’re trying to resolve. They have concerns or ideas or requests, but that doesn’t mean they feel empowered to talk about them. Many of us are in the habit of walking into the meeting and waiting to respond to what our manager has on the agenda. We take a “tell me what to do” approach.

Instead, give your team members the chance to prepare for and contribute to the agenda. Let them see, in advance, what you want to address. Then they can come in prepared, making the meeting more effective. Give them space to put their own topics on the agenda. This all implies a level of preparation and planning - a 1-on-1 shouldn’t be thrown together without a purpose.

Coach, Coach, Coach: Remember the guy who called me a used car salesman and my bosses response? If you only focus on work and “to dos” then you miss the opportunity for self-improvement or helping others to level up. Find ways to coach in your 1-on-1s. Critique and then follow up with kindness. Perhaps you occasionally use your time to work on projects together so you have a chance to understand and guide their work style. Help them think about how a project could be framed on their resume and encourage them to take on projects that will improve their marketability.

Wait - help them think about their future career and move towards it? Yes! Of course you don’t want them to leave soon, but the more you help them improve the better the relationship becomes. And that’s the kind of approach that makes a powerful connection. You’re most engaged employees will be the ones that know you’re in their corner regardless.

Appreciation: You need to appreciate the day to day contributions of your team members. The MVP award they may or may not win is insufficient. They want to know how well they did on their report last week. Or to be thanked because they stepped in yesterday to help the team hit a deadline. Appreciate people in real time as often as you can. And what better time than right after a 1-on-1 where they’ve come prepared and have shown you the progress they’re making on their priorities. It ends up that #thanksmatters.

Managers, a huge part of your role is to make your people better than they are. You can’t do that in an email. You’re not likely to do it effectively in an all hands meeting, particularly if you’re remote. The key to your success, and therefore theirs, is the time spent 1-on-1. And you never know, you just might be the reason someone writes an article about how you helped save their career.