Developing A Healthy And Balanced Working Environment

The role of trust, boundaries and intuition in running a small business

Professional betrayal wreaks havoc in the careers and personal lives of those involved. However, personal experience has taught me that this destruction does not entail lower quality of life. Growth comes from adversity, and helps those involved flourish in multiple ways. My mistakes brought clarity regarding who I should embrace, namely who is of trustworthy and reliable character. In a mutually respectful relationship, whether professional or personal, trust flows between each person. Therefore, when I find someone to be of trustworthy character, my desire is to help them succeed. After being betrayed several times by supposedly “trusted” colleagues, I have been forced to take a hard look at myself and my business. This challenging assessment has illuminated a weakness in my discernment, which I have quickly learned to address. As a result of this effort, I have become more diligent and discerning in detecting people who are not trustworthy. In particular, the more practice I have had in listening to my conscience, the more attuned I have become to reading people and their true intentions.

Learning to accurately detect a person’s true intentions as a result of previous betrayals has produced in me a renewed hope that people are worth pouring into. I still maintain trust in the people with whom I work, since the success of my working relationships begins with me. I give my trust to my employees, my business partners, and my consultants first. Prior to offering them employment or legal contracts with my company, I have already determined and established trust between us. From the time we are first introduced, my discernment process filters and sifts through the information provided and tells me who I can trust. If I do not sense that I trust a potential candidate, I will not allow them to work with me. Once employment is offered, however, trust has been established and I am confident that this individual will not steal from or cause harm to my company. While I use the interviewing process to determine the overarching trustworthiness of a candidate, it is only through time that I can determine if an employee or business partner will deliver consistently high-quality work. I measure whether the individual’s claims match their actual job performance, particularly regarding their quality of work and punctuality. If they keep this admirable work ethic and do what they say they can do, then their trustworthiness is enhanced in my eyes.

Within the context of trust, relationships develop and grow deeper. However, business relationships need to be nurtured carefully in order to keep a distinction between professional life and personal life. I learned this difficult lesson from multiple failed but trusted business relationships. To prevent such a disaster from striking again, I now create clear ground rules in my business relationships, explaining and implementing them from the very beginning. If personal matters begin to encroach upon our professionalism, I stop and remind my employee or business partner of the nature of our job, inviting them to discuss these topics outside of the office. I want and need to be approachable to my employees and business partners, and yet clear work boundaries are needed. The most beautiful friendships I’ve developed and treasured while at work have started on a purely professional basis, growing later on into friendships. The opposite can also happen, in which a friendship morphs into a professional one. In this case, I deliberately keep strong boundaries as a businesswoman, since I am working as both their personal friend as well as their client, vendor, or supplier. The business aspects of our relationship must stay separate from the personal aspects. 

Although it is important to keep personal and professional relationships separate, I confess that it is not easily done. There is always a possibility of becoming too emotionally vulnerable within a professional context. There will be moments when distracting feelings such as attraction, exhaustion, anger, or disappointment will arise and complicate things. These feelings cannot be ignored or dismissed, as I have learned from past mistakes. I once became emotionally attached to a business partner, with this relationship clouding my senses and interfering with my ability to make clear decisions on behalf of my business. Since that incident, I am determined not to engage in a business relationship with someone I might become involved with emotionally. This does not just have to do with romantic relationships! There are individuals who are naturally inclined to be clingy and emotionally demanding in their business partnerships. These people are not a good fit for my company because they are unable to (or consciously choose not to) set or respect clear boundaries. For example, when I receive a referral from or for a friend, this person will often come to me expecting extra perks, discounts, or special treatment. This behavior occurs even though I have already clearly stated that I provide no special exceptions to the treatment of my clients. When I sense an emotional attachment or a personal distraction, I address it quickly and directly with the individual, making sure their personal issues remain separate from the reality of my business. A healthy working environment exists within my company because I target these issues right away, not allowing drama or emotional baggage to drag us down. 

This ability to keep a healthy working environment takes lots of work! Unsurprisingly, our lives are full of emotional triggers and personal issues that arise and affect our environment and responsibilities. We undergo multiple stressors that flow from one area of life to the other. The most vital step here is to recognize personal and emotional needs, and know when it is time to ask for help. I rely on this discipline, and urge my employees to do the same. Throughout my seven years of adversity, I maintained strong support systems with my family, friends, and church community. I prioritized meeting with them all at different times, and I met with them often. In addition, my professional friends would reach out to me and offer their support and perspectives on my business position. Stressful times demand us to take time away from business to deal with our personal issues. It has been particularly helpful to build a routine in my schedule to exercise and incorporate healthy eating habits, as these choices profoundly and positively impact my mood, stress-levels, and overall health, making me a well-rounded and balanced individual as a result. 

As an emotionally and physically balanced professional, it has become easier for me to create a healthy business environment free from the influence of personal matters. My work over the years has taught me to keep personal issues separate from the professional, creating clear boundaries to divide the two. For example, in a business setting, do not engage in personal matters, and in a personal setting, do not discuss business matters. Being intentional is key. When I am at work, my desire is to be as effective as possible for my clients and employees. On the flip side, when I am with friends or family outside the office, my focus shifts entirely on them. I seldomly discuss business with those in my personal life because I embrace the moments I have with them, choosing to keep the conversation focused on their lives. In maintaining two distinct areas of your life, you will be able to give the best of yourself, and you will be able to receive the most from your relationships. 

Healthy personal relationships not only bring a balance to your professional life, but also provide a protection. People who care about you have an objective, outside perspective. The instincts of my friends and family have proven time and time again to be correct, and are worthy of listening to carefully. Their observations and wise perceptions are not typically based on emotions, but rather on the bigger picture. When our emotional attachments become all-encompassing, we are unable to look at the matter objectively. In my aforementioned situation, I was emotionally involved with a man to the extent that I could not see the reality of who he was, making excuses for his behavior and decisions to my friends and family. I paid the price for not accepting the perspectives and intuitions of those close to me. 

These personal applications apply to business relationships as well. Business partners and employees know you well if you have worked together for a long time. Their viewpoint and intuitiveness are assets from which you can prosper. However, in a professional situation, a conflict may exist between what people say and what your gut tells you. The precious commodity of time will be the way to verify what is true and right. Use this time to your advantage, researching and asking questions, finding answers, and receiving guidance. Balance what is verified and temper that against the intuition of your own heart and mind when deciding what to do about an employee, client, or some other business situation.

In business, fear of risk can hold many back. My motto, “Be cautious, not afraid,” summarizes the important balance between the courage to move forward and healthy wariness. You should always move forward in business, but not so hastily that you do not take the time to evaluate the decisions and steps you are taking. Diving straight in does not work well in the professional world – self-evaluation and reflection are pertinent to success. You must move forward, taking one step after the other, looking back and determining if you are still on the right track. Business opportunities and relationships may not turn out the way we expect, but those episodes often lead to an unexpected but better future. Doors close, but a more rewarding door almost always opens in its place. In this way, stagnation due to fear is only to your detriment – the closure of a business venture or partnership is not always a bad sign, and I have learned that a more rewarding future lies ahead. 

Fear may often keep you from moving forward, stopping you in your tracks. I have personally hit this pitfall, and I learned that it is vital not to stay frozen in your fear. First, identify where the fear comes from, namely if it is a genuine fear to be addressed or if it is emotional baggage that has not been dealt with. Locating the source permits you to dissect your fear and better understand why it’s happening. Second, when a fear appears to be a genuine warning sign, ask more questions and try to verify what your intuition is telling you. If the fear is valid, then pay attention to it – however, if it stems from your past or from emotional triggers, then you’ll need to intentionally make sure that that fear does not hinder you from pursuing what is most beneficial. 

In closing, the health of a business reflects the practices of the owner. I have learned that my decisions have created who and what I am today, and that your decisions will do the same for you. The people who have hurt me and my business were all individuals who I knew or who were referred to me by people I trusted. This is not a pleasant fact, but it is an important one to acknowledge. When someone you trust refers someone to you, it is your responsibility to not take them at their word alone.

My business, and yours as well, are on the line here – decide for yourself if what is presented to you is true and accurate. After experiencing deception within my own company, one of my goals has become to advise small business owners and entrepreneurs about who they allow into their company. Many people will offer referrals, and many will desire to network and partner with you, but do not take them at face value. Investigate, observe, and then decide whether their words match their actions and character. Remember, trust your intuition when it comes to the integrity of others.