Lessons From A Horse
Establishing harmony for better results
Posted on 10-08-2019, Read Time: Min
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This article is an excerpt from my book, The Om Factor: A Women's Spiritual Guide to Leadership
I learned something quite interesting while on a retreat to Miraval Resort & Spa in Tucson, Arizona. They have a signature experience called the Equine Experience. This was fascinating to me. We learned many things about grooming a horse, ranging from cleaning their hoofs to brushing their mane. We learned how to approach a horse: never right in front of its face, but rather to the side of it. However, when all was said and done we really learned a lot about ourselves as well as about life. There were two things that stood out to me while participating in this enlightening experience.
First was the seemingly simple task of picking out or cleaning a horse’s hoof. There is a special place three-quarter of the way down the horse’s leg that you must grip pretty firmly in order for the horse to lift its leg, giving you access to pick out the dirt and debris from its hoof. I had never been around a horse in my life but was very open to the experience. Or, so I thought.
I walked up to the horse and started talking to him and told him that I would really appreciate it if he could lift up his leg so I could clean his hoof. I then cupped my hand around his ankle and squeezed to give the cue for him to lift his leg. Nothing happened. His knees were totally locked, and there wasn’t even a slight gesture of lifting the leg. I was stunned. I was being friendly and charming, I thought. I informed him of what was about to happen so that he could be prepared, and then I executed it. I did another few iterations of this and each time tried to make a slight adjustment.
The horse instructor, or whisperer, in my opinion, was watching me from afar and came over and asked me how I get people to do what I need them to in my daily life? I told her that I try to establish a connection and then when I feel that they are on board we execute the plan or tasks we have put in place. I also told her when that didn’t work, I would take a step back and reassess and approach it a different way—all of which I did the multiple times I tried approaching my horse.
She told me that horses can sense many things and that telling a horse that it is beautiful and asking it to do something is not the way a horse responds. The horse responds when you walk up with a sense of purpose, grab the ankle purposefully and go about your business of cleaning. She walked up and did it in the first go. I was astonished. Could the horse sense any insincerity or anxiety in my presence or even in my space when I walked up to him?
I needed to understand that the horse communicated and learned by feeling that I was clear in my objective and that I could just execute it. No hesitations, even subtle ones, would work here. I then approached the horse as if I had already cleaned his hoof dozens of times, and it worked! I learned what he needed, walked up with commitment and purpose, and we both achieved our goals. This was eye-opening, and my horse provided a mirror to my style of leadership and how I dealt with people in my daily life.
I immediately wanted to rush back to the office and apply what I had learned with my staff and see if it still would have the same outcome. So, during our weekly and sometimes daily “state of the union” meetings at Technalink, and during our annual reviews, I decided to focus more on the things that my employees could improve on and less on making sure that I had enough positive reinforcement in there to “buffer” the constructive criticism.
I always thought that when you are delivering news that may be bitter tasting at first, you should perhaps coat it with some honey so that it goes down smoother and the experience is more palatable. That is really not the case. People respond to mutual respect more than they do to sugar coating. They want to know that they are respected and valued and hear where they can improve constructively along with some kudos. The kudos does not need to come first. Just be a straight-shooter.
The second task that stood out had an even more profound effect on me. When training a horse with a longing whip you are supposed to stand behind the horse in order to lead it. This actually worked. The horse knew exactly where the leader wanted it to go, but still had the freedom to move and execute this in its own manner. The leader speeds up her pace, and the horse speeds up; the leader slows down and so does the horse.
However, the leader never maintains a position of being directly in front of the horse with the horse physically following her. You need to not only stand behind the horse, but also turn your feet to a forty-five-degree angle in order to line up your abdomen (power center) with that of the horse’s rear, which is where its power center is.
This is counterintuitive in the workplace, or in life for that matter. Captains stand at the helm of a ship, a parent is called “the head” of the family, the king and queen stand upon their balcony with their subjects below and before them, and CEOs and Managers are all at the head of the boardroom table. All these people are leaders and all of them are physically positioned and also semantically referred to as “the head” or “chief” or “leader.”
When leading, give people room to move and be and have their own journey while showing them where you want to go. You do not have to be in someone’s face to lead them. Align your energy with theirs and it all flows.
Take the time to sit down and find out what their personal desires are and what their ideas are on how to accomplish something. Really listen, and with an open mind you might realize and be surprised that there may be a better way to achieve the goal, and it might even change the entire landscape of what was originally thought. Those people that you are leading then become fully invested in achieving your vision, and they also feel a true part of the whole, rather than just feeling like it’s a job where they show up to punch in and punch out while their minds, thoughts, feelings, and intentions are elsewhere.
When we are in harmony with each other that is when results are achieved. We do not all have to play the same instrument or the same beat, but we all do have to be in harmony. When we do that, the universe aligns itself to manifest our desired outcome.
I learned something quite interesting while on a retreat to Miraval Resort & Spa in Tucson, Arizona. They have a signature experience called the Equine Experience. This was fascinating to me. We learned many things about grooming a horse, ranging from cleaning their hoofs to brushing their mane. We learned how to approach a horse: never right in front of its face, but rather to the side of it. However, when all was said and done we really learned a lot about ourselves as well as about life. There were two things that stood out to me while participating in this enlightening experience.
First was the seemingly simple task of picking out or cleaning a horse’s hoof. There is a special place three-quarter of the way down the horse’s leg that you must grip pretty firmly in order for the horse to lift its leg, giving you access to pick out the dirt and debris from its hoof. I had never been around a horse in my life but was very open to the experience. Or, so I thought.
I walked up to the horse and started talking to him and told him that I would really appreciate it if he could lift up his leg so I could clean his hoof. I then cupped my hand around his ankle and squeezed to give the cue for him to lift his leg. Nothing happened. His knees were totally locked, and there wasn’t even a slight gesture of lifting the leg. I was stunned. I was being friendly and charming, I thought. I informed him of what was about to happen so that he could be prepared, and then I executed it. I did another few iterations of this and each time tried to make a slight adjustment.
The horse instructor, or whisperer, in my opinion, was watching me from afar and came over and asked me how I get people to do what I need them to in my daily life? I told her that I try to establish a connection and then when I feel that they are on board we execute the plan or tasks we have put in place. I also told her when that didn’t work, I would take a step back and reassess and approach it a different way—all of which I did the multiple times I tried approaching my horse.
She told me that horses can sense many things and that telling a horse that it is beautiful and asking it to do something is not the way a horse responds. The horse responds when you walk up with a sense of purpose, grab the ankle purposefully and go about your business of cleaning. She walked up and did it in the first go. I was astonished. Could the horse sense any insincerity or anxiety in my presence or even in my space when I walked up to him?
I needed to understand that the horse communicated and learned by feeling that I was clear in my objective and that I could just execute it. No hesitations, even subtle ones, would work here. I then approached the horse as if I had already cleaned his hoof dozens of times, and it worked! I learned what he needed, walked up with commitment and purpose, and we both achieved our goals. This was eye-opening, and my horse provided a mirror to my style of leadership and how I dealt with people in my daily life.
I immediately wanted to rush back to the office and apply what I had learned with my staff and see if it still would have the same outcome. So, during our weekly and sometimes daily “state of the union” meetings at Technalink, and during our annual reviews, I decided to focus more on the things that my employees could improve on and less on making sure that I had enough positive reinforcement in there to “buffer” the constructive criticism.
I always thought that when you are delivering news that may be bitter tasting at first, you should perhaps coat it with some honey so that it goes down smoother and the experience is more palatable. That is really not the case. People respond to mutual respect more than they do to sugar coating. They want to know that they are respected and valued and hear where they can improve constructively along with some kudos. The kudos does not need to come first. Just be a straight-shooter.
The second task that stood out had an even more profound effect on me. When training a horse with a longing whip you are supposed to stand behind the horse in order to lead it. This actually worked. The horse knew exactly where the leader wanted it to go, but still had the freedom to move and execute this in its own manner. The leader speeds up her pace, and the horse speeds up; the leader slows down and so does the horse.
However, the leader never maintains a position of being directly in front of the horse with the horse physically following her. You need to not only stand behind the horse, but also turn your feet to a forty-five-degree angle in order to line up your abdomen (power center) with that of the horse’s rear, which is where its power center is.
This is counterintuitive in the workplace, or in life for that matter. Captains stand at the helm of a ship, a parent is called “the head” of the family, the king and queen stand upon their balcony with their subjects below and before them, and CEOs and Managers are all at the head of the boardroom table. All these people are leaders and all of them are physically positioned and also semantically referred to as “the head” or “chief” or “leader.”
When leading, give people room to move and be and have their own journey while showing them where you want to go. You do not have to be in someone’s face to lead them. Align your energy with theirs and it all flows.
Take the time to sit down and find out what their personal desires are and what their ideas are on how to accomplish something. Really listen, and with an open mind you might realize and be surprised that there may be a better way to achieve the goal, and it might even change the entire landscape of what was originally thought. Those people that you are leading then become fully invested in achieving your vision, and they also feel a true part of the whole, rather than just feeling like it’s a job where they show up to punch in and punch out while their minds, thoughts, feelings, and intentions are elsewhere.
When we are in harmony with each other that is when results are achieved. We do not all have to play the same instrument or the same beat, but we all do have to be in harmony. When we do that, the universe aligns itself to manifest our desired outcome.
Author Bio
| Alka Dhillon, the Spiritual CEO, is the Founder and CEO of Technalink, an IT services and management consulting firm headquartered in Tysons Corner, Virginia, serving the public and private sectors. She’s earned multiple honors, including the Top 100 Women Leaders in STEM Award and the Global Technology and Innovation Leaders Award of the Decade presented by the Women’s Economic Forum. Visit www.alkadhillon.com Follow @TheSpiritualCEO Connect Alka Dhillon |
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