3 Tips For Thriving Within A Team

Find opportunities to listen deeply and let others feel heard

Whether at the workplace or in any other collaborative environment, there are a few essential tools we can call upon to support engaged, productive outcomes for all involved. Paying attention to the way we think about, communicate with, and participate in our teams can lead to new opportunities to create the outcomes we most want to see for ourselves and the group as a whole.

The first thing to be aware of is what context you are creating within yourself in relation to your team. To dig deeper into this word “context,” think about it like this: If you raise your index finger and think about the context as “body part,” you see a finger. If you now change the context to “number,” you see a one. Now change the context to “direction,” and you’ll see you’re pointing up.
 

 

Now imagine that you come into a team meeting with the context of “This really isn’t working,” or “This task is outside my job description.” Whatever context you bring to the team, that’s the lens through which you’ll see everything related to it. You won’t be likely to see what is working or what is possible for you to contribute with your skill set if you’re preoccupied with a context that has you ignoring anything outside of it.
 
Instead, find a way to authentically create a context that works for you in relation to that team. For example, “This is a great opportunity to create new solutions,” or “I bring a unique skill set to this task and can contribute in unexpected ways to create fresh results.” The key here is authenticity; get clear about what really matters to you and focus on a possibility for the team that truly engages you.

Don’t try to accomplish what matters to you all by yourself in your head. Your thinking is limited to your own brain. Borrow other people’s brains and really look at what your vision is and how it can be accomplished, not just from what you see in your linear vision; be intentionally non-linear about it and actually work with people to get their perspective and ideas about actions that you can take. You never know what they might see that you don’t.
 
This starts with sharing your vision. If you don’t share your vision, no one can contribute to helping you accomplish it. Share what you see as the possible positive outcomes of your vision — then give people space to contribute their ideas and their perspectives. That’s when your vision becomes malleable, something that is morphable into something else based on what other people contribute.
 
Maybe it grows; maybe it shifts. This allows you not to get stuck with a static picture of what it will be, freeing you to see other possibilities that may emerge from your vision being realized. In other words, if your goal is to visit France, don’t insist on using one certain airline. Instead, try thinking “I want to go to France. How am I going to get there?” Now replace France with any goal you’re working on. What’s your “France”?
 
When you share your goal with others and get their ideas, you’re free to really look at what’s possible, rather than getting stuck trying to make a certain something happen. That creates a very different kind of conversation with people; it becomes a much more open space to create something rather than having to force something.

There is a sure way to create win-win scenarios in communication, and it’s through prioritizing collaboration over being right. This is crucial in any team environment. When we get wrapped up — as we all do at some point — in looking good and playing our roles (i.e., boss, employee, coworker), it’s all too easy to focus on being right. The problem with that is it requires making someone else wrong.
 
When you can’t make something work as a human being, you automatically start looking for a scapegoat. If you can’t make your relationship work, you’ve got to make your partner wrong to justify why it’s not working. If you can’t make your office work, you’ve got to make your employees wrong or your boss wrong or the job wrong to justify why you’re not really rocking it. When people feel powerless to make things work around them, the default is to find a scapegoat — a reason why it’s not working.
 
This is what it’s like to function as a human being “by default.” To operate outside of default settings and create a new possibility takes a new way of thinking. Instead of looking for the wrong, find opportunities to listen deeply and let others feel heard. What are their concerns? What are they really committed to? Once they really feel heard, they’ll be more likely to listen to your view. That opens up an opportunity to find a collaborative solution.
   

Josselyne Herman-Saccio is a communication expert with Landmark, a personal and professional growth, training, and development company that's had more than 2.4 million people use its programs to cause breakthroughs in their personal lives as well as in their communities, generating more than 100,000 community projects around the world. In The Landmark Forum, Landmark's flagship program, people cause breakthroughs in their performance, communication, relationships, and overall satisfaction in life. Visit www.LandmarkWorldwide.com Connect Josselyne Herman-Saccio