To-Do List Got You Stressed?
Just say no. Here’s how
Posted on 03-07-2019, Read Time: Min
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“If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes—then learn how to do it later!” said billionaire Richard Branson.
Poet E.E. Cummings wrote, “I imagine that yes is the only living thing.”
And Brazilian novelist Clarice Lispector said, “Everything in the world began with a yes.”
Seems like sage insight. Saying yes leads to opportunities and outcomes. It involves action and activity and invites engagement. ‘Yes’ is the affirmation that signals birth and beginning, a portent of possibility.
In the world of work, most see saying yes not just as necessary for seizing an opportunity, but as a duty and a virtue. So in the style of Buzz Lightyear, they say yes to almost every request. “To infinity and beyond!”
And the results are alarming.
Our latest research reveals that many people overcommit themselves. Sixty percent of respondents said their to-do lists contain more than they can complete in the given timelines. Another 20 percent said their to-do lists were at limit; they cannot commit to anything else. And these aren’t isolated scenarios. In fact, 1 in 3 said they ALWAYS have more tasks in front of them than they can actually complete, and 2 in 3 said they USUALLY do.
As a result, people feel overworked and overstressed, and that affects health and wellbeing. Respondents reported the following side-effects of their over-commitment habits:
Poet E.E. Cummings wrote, “I imagine that yes is the only living thing.”
And Brazilian novelist Clarice Lispector said, “Everything in the world began with a yes.”
Seems like sage insight. Saying yes leads to opportunities and outcomes. It involves action and activity and invites engagement. ‘Yes’ is the affirmation that signals birth and beginning, a portent of possibility.
In the world of work, most see saying yes not just as necessary for seizing an opportunity, but as a duty and a virtue. So in the style of Buzz Lightyear, they say yes to almost every request. “To infinity and beyond!”
And the results are alarming.
Our latest research reveals that many people overcommit themselves. Sixty percent of respondents said their to-do lists contain more than they can complete in the given timelines. Another 20 percent said their to-do lists were at limit; they cannot commit to anything else. And these aren’t isolated scenarios. In fact, 1 in 3 said they ALWAYS have more tasks in front of them than they can actually complete, and 2 in 3 said they USUALLY do.
As a result, people feel overworked and overstressed, and that affects health and wellbeing. Respondents reported the following side-effects of their over-commitment habits:
- Stress: 50 percent are moderately stressed, 35 percent are highly stressed, and 9 percent are extremely stressed.
- Worry and Anxiety: 52 percent are worried about letting themselves or others down and 41 percent are unsure of where to start in their efforts to accomplish their tasks.
- Feeling Defeated: 46 percent feel overwhelmed, and 20 percent regret agreeing to so much in the first place.
What’s more, respondents said their to-do lists prevent them from being present, meaning they can’t show up for the people and activities that matter most. Specifically, 44 percent said they are “really present” only half of the time, and 37 percent said they are rarely or never present. Only 1 percent said they are in a position to be always present.
That also means they probably aren’t showing up for all the tasks they’ve agreed to. Instead of achieving outcomes and executing effectively, people who frequently say yes might also drop balls and miss deadlines. This compounds their stress.
But if saying yes leads to burnout and bonfires, why do it?
Respondents cite the following five reasons:
- The desire to be helpful, accommodating, and polite (73 percent)
- The tendency to jump in and fix problems, even when not responsible (56 percent)
- Ambiguous limits and unclear rules about accepting or rejecting tasks (39 percent)
- Working with those in authority who make non-negotiable demands (38 percent)
- Inability to say no or renegotiate commitments (32 percent)
The takeaway is telling. People sacrifice wellbeing, relationships, and productivity for the sake of, well, productivity. In an effort to contribute much they actually curtail their ability to contribute.
Our research and observation over the years suggest this over-commitment epidemic is the result of poorly designed workflow management systems. Without a system designed to capture and organize incoming tasks and the skills to negotiate commitments, you’re bound to find yourself a victim of an impossible to-do list.
But luckily, there’s a solution. In fact, there are a small number of self-management practices that can literally change a person’s life. When you learn to manage your workload efficiently, you’ll not only take control of your to-do list, but you’ll also avoid the anxiety that comes with carrying an impossible workload. As an added bonus, when you have a clear view of your workload, you’re less likely to commit to tasks you know you can’t complete.
To achieve this type of serenity and regain control of your to-do list, follow these five productivity practices:
- Collect everything that owns your attention. Capture all commitments, tasks, ideas, and projects in an external place rather than keeping them in your head. Use only a few capture tools you keep with you all the time, such as a notebook, an app, or email.
- Do a commitment audit. Capture all of your commitments on one page. Then go down the list and decide which to-dos you will do, which you’ll decline, and which you’ll renegotiate. If there’s no way you can do them all in the time given, be realistic about what you can and will do.
- Identify next actions. Most people are overwhelmed by their lists because they are filled with vague phrases like “Budget” or “2019 Event.” These unclear projects discourage rather than motivate us to act. Clarify your to-dos down to the very next action you’ll take to move toward closure. You can break the habit of procrastination and alleviate stress by clarifying tasks into smaller, actionable steps.
- Do more of the right things by reflecting in the right moments. Rather than diving into your messy inbox first thing, take two minutes to review your calendar and your action lists. This reflection ensures you make the best decisions about how to use your time.
- Review weekly. Keep a sacred, non-negotiable meeting with yourself every week to resync, get current, and align your daily work with your higher-level priorities.
With your sanity restored and to-do list corralled, you can regulate incoming tasks and commitments with one simple skill. When you need to decline or renegotiate a request, make it known that your goal is not to dodge work or avoid helping out, but rather to offer your full attention to the task. If that means postponing a deadline or involving others, suggest as much and seek mutual solutions. Saying no, after all, is just another way of saying yes to something of higher priority—like being productive without losing your mind.
Take a survey
In the world of work, most see saying yes not just as necessary for seizing opportunity, but as a duty and a virtue. Agree? https://web.hr.com/ghnaf
In the world of work, most see saying yes not just as necessary for seizing opportunity, but as a duty and a virtue. Agree? https://web.hr.com/ghnaf
Author Bios
| David Maxfield is a New York Times bestselling author, keynote speaker, and leading social scientist for business performance. He leads the research function at VitalSmarts, a corporate training and leadership development company. His work has been translated into 28 languages, is available in 36 countries, and has generated results for 300 of the Fortune 500. Connect David Maxfield Visit www.vitalsmarts.com |
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| Ryan Trimble is a lead writer at VitalSmarts. He works alongside the company’s authors and researchers to identify and publicize trends in workplace communication and human behavior. Connect Ryan Trimble Follow @VitalSmarts |
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