Yes, Time’s Up. Now What?

Men must do the heavy lifting to create more equity for women

At a recent men-only charity event in London, dozens of young women were subject to rampant harassment and assault while they attempted to do their jobs. This latest high-profile example of men behaving in a disgusting manner towards women demonstrates how much work still needs to be done for women to be safe and respected in our society. This particular incident also shines a light on a sad truth: Men are not holding each other accountable the way we should be. When 54% of all American women have experienced “unwanted and inappropriate sexual advances” at some point in their lives and 30% of women have endured such behavior from male colleagues at work, it’s clear that all men need to take responsibility in creating positive change in the treatment of women and girls.
 

 
Women have been subject to harassment and assault at the hands of men for generations and have been attempting to cope and thrive in this hostile environment. It is now finally coming to men’s attention that things are not okay. This may be news to most men, but it is a long-held reality for women. Many men have learned to connect with other men at the expense of women. As men, we have to listen to the women in our lives who have been asking us for decades to recognize and acknowledge them in a different way. It’s time for us to do the heavy lifting, both as individuals and with each other.
 
In the corporate world, a lot of men are understandably nervous about saying or doing the wrong thing, but the solution is not to avoid hiring or interacting with women altogether. Men who are willing to put in the work of self-examination and confronting unconscious biases often find that their overall mental and emotional health improves. And when women are treated fairly, our society as a whole gets better and companies experience more financial growth.
 
Beyond listening to their employees, organizations want to know what to do about harassment in the workplace. The first step is to make clear that the organization encourages and supports courageous dialogue. Many people are uncomfortable talking about this topic and feel confused when they are forced to address it. We have to get comfortable with that discomfort. It’s a complex issue. Rather than trying to get rid of the problem as fast as possible, we have to be willing to start a conversation, be uncomfortable, and use it as a way to grow leadership skills like courage, deep listening, and thinking about these issues from a systemic point of view.
 
Organizations must stop approaching the issue of discrimination and harassment against women as a finite problem that has a quick and easy solution.
 
Rather, it requires ongoing improvements and effort. Much like safety protocols in the manufacturing industry, this is a developmental issue that must be approached as intrinsic to everything an organization does. We have to work on creating an environment where all people feel valued, heard, and respected. A two-hour training may provide value, but it isn’t the entire solution.
 
As men, we tend to want to distance ourselves from the egregious acts that have been perpetrated against women. But it’s important for us to be able to acknowledge that we are all connected to the harasser. As a man, I must acknowledge that, even if it’s not me doing the harassing, I have been complicit in tolerating a climate that allowed men like Harvey Weinstein and Larry Nassar to continue to carry out egregious abuse.
 
No, I am not necessarily a “bad man” because these things happened, but as a man I must still own up to collusion and complacency in an environment where other men think this treatment of women is acceptable. I need to be more courageous in speaking up when I witness problematic behavior, even when it’s only among “us men.” I need to have the competency to intervene and effectively communicate why certain behaviors are not okay. At times, I need to recognize which of my behaviors are contributing to the type of environment that limits and disrespects the women in my life.
 
This type of self-reflection and desire to improve takes courage.
 
In order to begin doing the necessary work, men must be willing to understand how our current behavior towards women is influenced by the messages we’ve received from society. We should ask ourselves: Where have I been taught to objectify women? Where did I learn to talk about women in a disrespectful way with other men? Connecting those experiences to the reality of how we think about women and how we behave towards them can begin to reveal some uncomfortable truths, but it’s an important first step towards improvement. Whether we’re interrupting women in meetings, or failing to acknowledge their presence, it adds up to an overall feeling for women that they aren’t being treated fairly.

There’s a misconception that once the baby boomers are out of the workforce, these issues will go away but that’s simply not true. The #MeToo movement demonstrates how incredibly pervasive harassment and assault are in women’s lives, and unless men commit to understanding what women are subjected to, our society always risks sliding backward. The many recent high-profile harassment cases are the tip of the iceberg when it comes to systemic mistreatment and inequality for women. The good news is we can use this moment to actually make necessary change, as long as we don’t avoid the difficult conversations with women, and especially with other men. PE  

Bill Proudman is the CEO & Co-Founder of White Men As Full Diversity Partners, a consulting firm which provides organizations and business leaders with the skills they need to establish inclusive work cultures. Connect Bill Proudman Follow @billproudman