Emotional Intelligence Distinguishes Leaders From Managers

The higher one advances in an organization, the more important emotional intelligence becomes

Emotional Intelligence (also known as EQ) is your ability to empathize with others, see and appreciate situations from their point of view and understand and control your own emotions.  Sounds easy right? Well, not so much. Leaders need to be deliberate in their self-awareness and choose consistent behaviors over time that demonstrate their high levels of emotional intelligence. It matters to organizations that their leaders have a high level of emotional intelligence because achieving business and operational objectives is the result of leading and aligning people to the common vision. To do that well, you need to first understand yourself, then understand the people around you. Leaders who can orchestrate complex situations with a diverse group of people (who often have conflicting interests), who can use emotions to positively influence actions, and who can manage their own emotions and relationships well enjoy a greater degree of success.

Daniel Goleman, an author and psychologist, identified five key elements of emotional intelligence; self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. Mature, evolved leaders demonstrate these elements on a routine basis but remember, these may not come naturally to them and may have to be learned behaviors. For example, someone who is naturally an extrovert may be more comfortable with their social skills and not feel as awkward in social situations as an introvert. Someone with low self-esteem, who tends to overcompensate by demonstrating narcissistic, self-absorbed behavior would have a tough time truly looking outside themselves and empathizing with others. Those are the toughest leadership cases, as their lack of self-awareness of how their behavior adversely impacts the organization and people around them is often difficult for them to even acknowledge, let alone course correct.  However, they can be taught techniques to overcome those tendencies by taking conscious actions such as practicing active listening and publicly recognizing peers and subordinates for outstanding work without discussing their role in it. Mentors and other leaders in the organization can help them identify specific instances for them to see and understand the impact of their negative behavior and what techniques they can use to improve.

Emotional intelligence in leaders matters not only for how they identify and improve on their own skills and behavior that contribute to a healthier and productive work environment, but they have a responsibility to identify toxic leaders beneath them and ensure that behavior is corrected or the person is removed. We have all worked with someone who shows a different “face” to the Boss than they do to peers or subordinates. These folks “manage up” very well but often mistreat their subordinates and have sharp elbows with peers. Good leaders with evolved levels of emotional intelligence have their antenna up for these types and directly address and root out that behavior quickly to ensure the corporate culture is one of respect, dignity, and inclusiveness for all.

Great leaders know how to keep their ego in check, they recognize and continually evaluate their own strengths and weaknesses. They focus energy on improving areas where they are struggling, do not take things personally, and identify and keep in check their “triggers” that can result in a regrettable reaction to bad news or a stressful situation.  This is not to say they are not passionate about their work or ideas.  On the contrary, passion is good as it leads to a higher level of commitment, concern, and focus. However, passion has to be tempered by good judgment and emotional intelligence to see when ego may be getting in the way of the best decision.  Learning to control emotions is important in developing a higher level of emotional intelligence and being more successful about channeling passion productively.

So how do you teach emotional intelligence and get those you mentor to have more empathy for others and self-awareness? Going through some scenario-based exercises with them is an excellent way to start. Colin Powell’s (a retired US Army four star general and former Secretary of State under the George W. Bush Administration) “13 Rules of Leadership” reflect a very advanced emotional intelligence and are helpful guidance in plain, simple language that are easily remembered. Over the years, I have often shared these rules with those I mentor and asked them to discuss specific behaviors they can demonstrate to make these rules part of their leadership toolkit. A little exercise on self-reflection with the mentee is a quick, easy way to get them to improve their emotional intelligence. Pick a rule (remain calm and be kind or positivism is a force multiplier etc.) and have them talk through a scenario on how they would use that concept to achieve a successful outcome.   

The higher one advances in an organization, the more important emotional intelligence becomes.  It’s not enough to be smart about your job, product or service. Being the best at achieving your organizational outcomes is contingent upon having leaders attuned to the “softer” aspects of business and how to manage relationships, emotions and passion. That is what distinguishes leaders from managers.  Lots of people skilled at their jobs - they are knowledgeable and good managers. But LEADERs have the extra special sauce, a higher level of emotional intelligence that they use to turn passion into productivity.

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