Impatience And Entitlement: The True Enemies Of Leadership

Leadership begins and ends with understanding open-mindedness, patience, and humility

In recent months, I had the opportunity to observe a number of individuals in the early stages of leadership. While they were all highly intelligent people, they also harbored one common factor that seemed to stand in the way of their sense of fulfillment: impatience, driven by a sense of entitlement. Interestingly, the individuals I observed were all male, but that doesn’t mean that other genders are excluded from this phenomenon. I’d like to highlight my experiences with three of these interesting individuals.
 

The first of these persons hold an MBA degree, but questioned the value of his degree and the time he invested in earning it because he had not been able to land a top executive job yet at a major corporation two years after earning it. He stated that he had looked forward to making it big, and felt deeply disillusioned that his degree did not propel him to the highest echelons of the social ladder yet.

Two years must have seemed like a very long time to this gentleman, and he felt that his degree might simply be worthless, even though he had now found an area of passion in working with youngsters who were seeking their path toward further education. Whether or not he is the right guide for such people is not even at stake here. But his inability to appreciate his unique path toward accomplishment, which may not have looked like the one he initially envisioned is of greater concern to me. I brought it up, and he promised to give it some thought, but I am still unsure if he has shifted his paradigm from the general societal definition of what success ought to look like to one of self-reflection.

The second of these persons is in the final stages of earning his MBA degree and has already expressed dissatisfaction with a current job that generates an income that many others would dream of. He feels that he should be given the opportunity to take on a major leadership position in the educational environment because he has such great insights and qualities. He feels upset that he has not been offered a promotion at his current workplace in the finance industry, even though he applies for higher positions. His opinion is that his colleagues have it in for him, and that he just wants to shift work environments because he’s obviously too good for his current workplace.

The third person I observed has the lovely habit to want to get things accomplished by stepping over everyone’s head. Needless to say, while everyone really liked his outgoing and charming nature at first, he is now increasingly being shunned. Sitting across my desk, this gentleman analyzed his situation as follows: “I must be too smart for this environment, and people just don’t like my frankness and go-getter attitude”. When pointed out to him that no one likes it when being surpassed after you initially asked for their help and they are doing all they can to assist you, he stated that he is the only one actually understanding the importance of his issues, and he will have to do what he feels he has to do, regardless of how others feel about it.

While each of these cases is slightly different, the two leadership enemies mentioned in the title of this article clearly exude through each: impatience and a sense of entitlement. Each of these individuals wanted gratification according to the parameters they formulated, and it had to happen instantly. I also discovered two other common characteristics in these three aspiring leaders: a tendency to badmouth those that tried to assist them along the way, and a major sense of self-aggrandizement.  Each of them chose to ignore or downplay the assistance and support received from others, and only pat themselves on the back for any accomplishment.

So, what have been the takeaways from these encounters that I could share here?
●    Life rarely presents us with the opportunities we envision getting. This doesn’t mean that there will not be any opportunities. They will just look different than we expect them to be. The art is to understand and keep an open mind rather than one restricted by narrow margins.
●    Nothing is wasted in life. Some advantages just take some more time to reveal themselves. But every experience ultimately has a purpose in the greater scheme of your life. Just give it time.
●    Ambition is a virtue, but it can become a plight if you allow it to run your life and undermine others along the way. Practicing some humility has never harmed anyone. Quite the contrary: it polishes the skills you need toward becoming a leader in your own life, and later, also toward others.
●    You can elbow your way up, but invariably you will find that others will elbow you away sooner or later, because trust exits the radar when hurtful and demeaning practices step into the picture.

Leadership starts with understanding the responsibility you have toward your own fulfillment and the many surprises that will emerge along the way. No one’s path has been an exact depiction of their initial dream, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t rewarding in the end. Leadership begins and ends with understanding open-mindedness, patience, and humility. Only then will you be able to incite the leader in you, and begin to manifest yourself as one that others will want to follow.

Author Bio

Joan Marques is an author, educational and social entrepreneur, who currently serves as Dean and Professor of Management at Woodbury University’s School of Business. She teaches, presents, and writes on topics related to moral responsibility and ethical leadership. Her research and practice-based insights have been widely published in scholarly as well as popular journals and magazines. She has authored/co-authored and edited more than 35 books. Her most recent single-authored book is, “Leading with Awareness” (Routledge, 2021). Connect Joan Marques