Stay Conversations: Will They Stay? Or Will They Walk Away?

Key components of a stay interview

How does an organization avoid costly turnover and ensure those critical relationships between employees and managers are built? They can begin with a 'Stay Conversation'. 

Stay Conversations are discussions between a leader and a valued direct report with the sole purpose of learning more about the employee - about what's most important to them in the workplace - about their interests and aspirations. The take-aways from these conversations include valuable information that may not have surfaced any other way. The leader learns directly from the employee what will engage and ultimately retain them. Most importantly though, the employee tends to feel more valued and heard through this demonstration of genuine care and concern. 
 

Stay conversations don't have to be lengthy. They often take no more than 15 minutes. And they are not "one and done" events. Stay conversations are most effective when repeated often, with follow up and next steps along the way; building an ongoing dialogue with a purpose and meaning!

These invaluable conversations can take place anywhere and anytime. The key is to make sure the place and time are convenient and comfortable for the employee. After all, it IS about them! We have seen stay conversations take place over a cup of coffee, on a walk around the workplace campus, over lunch, anywhere that the connection can be made. When choosing a time and a place, remember privacy is important in order for the employee to feel free to be open and honest. 

Key Components of the Stay Interview

Who, When and Where: Have a plan for who you will be talking to, when it will take place and where you will make it happen. Schedule in advance to avoid confusion and allow the conversation to focus on the employee entirely from the start. 

Set the Context: Think through and communicate the purpose of the meeting. This preparation accomplishes two important things. First, clarifying the purpose eliminates any fears that the employee may have about 'why' the meeting is taking place. There's nothing like a 'can we talk?' request from one's manager to set the internal alarms blaring. Second, communicating the purpose sends the message that the employee is valued and allows the employee time to think about what they want to share during the conversation. 

Conversation Starter: Open the conversation with a reminder of the purpose and acknowledgment that it will be a 2-way exchange. Customize the opening to the employee. For example, "Chris, you are a valued member of the team. You consistently meet deadlines and you're a true team player. During last week's project work, those two things were what got us through. How do you feel about the way the project work rolled out?" By including specifics you're demonstrating that you value the employee's contributions and you're reinforcing behaviors that you want to continue. Use open-ended questions to learn more and deepen the dialogue.

Questions to Ask: Seek to understand what is most important to the employee. Your goal is to understand how employees can get more of what they need and want from their work. Curiosity is an essential tool for digging deeper. Curiosity surfaces great ideas on how to best motivate and engage your employees. Don't make assumptions about what is most important to them. Ask them. Only they know the answers to these kinds of questions. And you are guaranteed success when you ask the question directly. Want a true 'win-win' here? Ask your employee to help you figure out how they can achieve more satisfaction on the job! 

Ideas for Action: You have probably heard the axiom that a goal without a plan is just a dream, well the same holds true for making Stay Conversations work for your organization. The conversation without actionable outcomes is just talk. Chat with your employee about the next steps to achieving the goal of greater job satisfaction. Taking action on what you discuss is a sure way - perhaps the more important way - to underscore that you value what they bring to the team. Ideas for action are not just a one-way street where the manager takes on all the 'to­ dos'. This is a great opportunity for the employees to take some ownership of their job satisfaction levels. Ideas such as doing research around different ways to get daily tasks completed or identifying alternative methods for developing skills are action steps that the employee can take on.

Plan for Follow-up: Close the meeting with a plan for following up! Schedule the next conversation right then and there! Put a date on the calendar for the next step. And make it happen. With a healthy amount of time built into the process, and a plan for action you are guaranteed to move the needle on getting the employee more of what they need to achieve long-term satisfaction in the workplace. Why don't we ASK more often? Honestly, we sometimes fear what the employee will say - that they may ask for things we can't deliver. In reality, our studies suggest that oftentimes what the employee asks for is far easier to provide than we imagine. And if a request is for something that can't happen right now, honesty is the best approach. Explain why the request can't be addressed and ask "What else?" Experience has proven that the follow-up "What else?" will result in things both you and the employee can explore and work on together. 

What About Outcomes? So you have a plan. And you have some information. And stay conversations go a long way in not only eliminating exit interviews, but also in helping engagement and talent focused leaders build environments where people love to work. Who knows? Your own legacy may be as the leader that talented people most wanted to work for. Most importantly though, you have created a foundation for establishing open, trusting, relationships with your employees. Relationships that can make the difference between retaining the talent you need and watching them walk out the door.

Dr. Beverly Kaye is recognized as one of the most knowledgeable professionals in career development, employee engagement and retention. In 2018, she received the Lifetime Achievement Award from the Association for Talent Development (ATD). Beverly’s books include Love ‘Em or Lose ‘Em and Help Them Grow or Watch Them Go. Visit https://bevkaye.com Connect Beverly Kay Follow @BeverlyLKaye