What exactly is emotional intelligence? Why is high EQ such a valued attribute? Are there ways to raise emotional intelligence? A look at emotional intelligence, and the benefits of investing in wellness programs that help raise the emotional intelligence of employees.

Since the publication of the ground-breaking book, Emotional Intelligence, by psychologist Daniel Goleman in the 1990s, there has been a great deal of talk — along with misinterpretation, misinformation, and misunderstanding — about emotional intelligence, exactly what emotional intelligence is, and how and why it is important in life.
 

Emotional intelligence is a highly valued attribute in leaders in all walks of life, it is much more than an attribute that will help you get ahead in business. Emotional intelligence is a strong predictor of our quality of life, health, and relationships with others.

Unpacking the True Meaning of Emotional Intelligence

A reasonable exploration of EQ begins with looking at the definition of its better-known counterpart, IQ. IQ — intelligence quotient — is defined as a measurement of our knowledge of the outer world, how it works, and how we reason with the world and solve outer-world problems.

Impose this same definition to our inner world, and you’ll have a good understanding of emotional intelligence. In short, our EQ — emotional quotient — is a measure of how well we know and understand our inner selves, our feelings, what makes us tick, and how well we comprehend and interact with others.

EQ is all about the degree to which we understand, relate to, and act with compassion for ourselves and others. In other words, IQ is what we know and understand, and how well we navigate the world around us, and EQ is what we know and understand, and how well we navigate our emotional lives.

A Highly Valued Attribute

High-EQ individuals are self-aware and in touch with their feelings. Since they understand what makes them angry, upset, or fearful, they are not at the mercy of their negative emotions. They are adept at regulating their emotions and move through life confident that they will conduct themselves well, without losing control.

Furthermore, they can tune into the people in their environment, empathize with them, and treat them with respect and kindness. This, of course, translates into valuable social skills. High-EQ individuals excel at maintaining strong relationships and making good choices, for themselves and others.

The Ages, Stages, and Process of Maturation

Like IQ, EQ is, in part, a process of maturation. Just as we take in knowledge of the outer world, our inner self-awareness, or emotional self, develops over time.

During the first stage of life, usually, until the age of 9, our EQ is in what is known as the pre-conventional stage, where our choices are based on exterior factors. Children avoid punishment for doing something ‘wrong,’ and earn ‘rewards’ from authority figures like parents, teachers, and coaches who praise and reward children for doing as they are told.

As we grow, we move beyond the initial pre-conventional stage into what is known as the conventional stage. In this second developmental stage, we have a clear sense of right and wrong. We understand the rules of engagement with others, and we know and follow these conventions and laws.

In the third and final stage of EQ development, known as the post-conventional stage, there is a strong and nuanced inner moral compass, a sense of right and wrong that functions in concert with compassion for the self and others.

A Famous Experiment

Twentieth-century psychologist Lawrence Kohlberg’s famous experiment highlights the differences between various stages of development. In this experiment, researchers told participants from all three developmental stages the story of a desperate man, unable to afford the great expense of a much-needed medication for his dying wife, who stole the drug from a pharmacy.

Participants were then asked whether it was wrong for the man to have stolen the drugs.

Participants in the pre-conventional stage were unanimous in thinking that the man was wrong to have stolen the drugs. Likewise, respondents in the conventional phase of development, who understood how society works and knew the rules, laws, and consequences for breaking the rules, could understand the man’s dilemma but also felt that his actions were wrong.

Those in the third stage — wherein compassion is part of the decision matrix — understood the moral dilemma of the man in the story, and out of compassion for his wife’s suffering and his dire circumstances, found him right to have acted as he did.

An Alarming Statistic

While we might assume that all adults reach the third and final stage of development, it is estimated that 15 percent of individuals never reach this stage.

The reality is that most people remain in the unquestioning, rule-following second stage of development. Due to poor role modeling and a lack of compassion in their young lives, many people are taught to see the world simply and rigidly in black and white rather than shades of grey.

Many of people never learn to see others with compassion or view situations in nuanced ways. Many people live fear-based lives, in self-doubt that hinders their personal growth and limits their understanding, acceptance, and interactions with others. These limitations often lead to anxiety, depression, poor coping skills, and unhealthy behaviors and habits, like over-indulging in alcohol or drugs, overworking, and other choices that negatively impact their health and quality of life.

Raising Employee EQ: A Win-Win Proposition

Raising EQ begins with helping individuals learn to connect with their emotions. When individuals understand what triggers their anger and other negative emotions, they can work on building skills and strategies to better regulate their actions, reactions, and interactions with others, and respond rather than react to challenging situations and events.

Providing employees with the tools and skills that build self-awareness leads to an increase in the ability to empathize with and relate authentically to others. An expanded ability to relate authentically to others leads to greater social skills, and greater social skills allow you to interact with increased confidence, in the moment, with compassion for yourself and others.

Investing in wellness initiatives that foster emotional intelligence in employees is a true win-win proposition. It is an investment that can help individual employees build valuable interpersonal skills and self-awareness, and contribute to the success of an organization.

Author Bio

Dr. Monica Vermani is a Clinical Psychologist specializing in treating trauma, stress and mood & anxiety disorders, and the Founder of Start Living Corporate Wellness. She is a well-known speaker and author on mental health and wellness. Dr. Vermani has recently launched an exciting online self-help program, A Deeper Wellness, delivering powerful mental-health guidance, life skills, and knowledge that employees can access anywhere, anytime. Visit www.drmonicavermani.com

Error: No such template "/CustomCode/topleader/category"!