You might not care about work right now.  You might be thinking that your world has just fallen apart and any suggestion that time can move on feels disrespectful.  Loss of a loved one can shatter us. Those first moments of shock and grief make everything else irrelevant. However, there will become a point when you will need to return to work.  It might be that returning to work will offer you the normality and routine that will encourage healing. Therefore, knowing about bereavement leave is an essential ingredient when dealing with the death of a loved one.  Here we present a guide of the issues you should consider.

No one expects you to work in the immediate aftermath of a loss.  Most employers will have a policy that will guide you and help you understand how much time you can take.  Some employers may offer paid leave at this time, others will have a supported back to work plan to help you reintegrate into your role after this trauma.
What is confusing is that the policy of bereavement leave can vary from business to business.  However, there are some points where policy and practice should converge. We hope this guide will help you navigate work at this time.

The law and bereavement leave

You may have thought that the period off work after a death is compassionate leave.  In effect, these are the same thing. It is time off to deal with the events following the death of a close family member or dependent.  This bereavement leave will likely only cover the beginning of the grieving process, when the shock is most extreme. It may then also cover the time for the funeral.

The law is purposely vague.  Every death and every workplace will raise a host of issues that cannot be covered by a single law.  Therefore, the Employment Rights Act (1996) merely states that a reasonable number of days must be offered to those suffering the loss of a close relative.  You might think reasonable is unhelpful – as reasonable to one person in the event of a death is different to another. However, it compels your employer to offer you some days off and opens the door to negotiating more if needed.

The most vital fact covered by the law is that this bereavement leave is not sick leave.  The accumulation of sick days can feed into a disciplinary case. Bereavement leave cannot be used in this way.
Workplace mediator organisations have defined a suitable number of days as two days and most companies adhere to this.  Two days acknowledges that there might be emergency arrangements and reactions needed. Some companies offer up to five days paid leave.

Who is immediate family?
Leave offered for funerals is generally only offered to immediate family, under the law.  The definition of immediate family is specific. It only covers spouse, partner, children, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.  It will also cover any individual who is considered your dependent – so someone you have cared for directly.
You might rightly believe that some of our closest friends would cause more grief than a member of the immediate family.  However, a close friend is not covered under law and you would need to negotiate with your employer. Most leaders would try hard to facilitate people experiencing loss and may work to offer you holiday time or sick days to cover such events.

What is best practice?
With the law being so vague, it is incumbent on the company and the individual to act in the best way possible.  Most employers will have a policy covering the event of a death. This policy will insulate managers from making complex decisions under pressure.  A clear policy allows everyone to know where they start from the beginning of employment.
For the individual who has experienced loss, the best practice question is cloudier.  There will come a time when being away from your normal routine will be more damaging than it is helpful.  Going back to work might feel like a betrayal to the memory of your loved one, like you are moving on. However, this is not the case.  By going back to work you allow yourself to be distracted and you will enjoy the emotional support of your colleagues. Isolating yourself and losing yourself in grief can make the journey to healing that much more difficult.

Only you can tell if you need bereavement leave.  Only you can tell yourself when you must move on now.  Remember to keep communicating with your employer, so you have the chance to return when you are ready.