Be kind to others. If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all. To this day, these so-called nuggets of wisdom from my mother ring in my ears as my hair turns gray.

It did not help that as I got older, I bought into a modern psychology narrative that put more emphasis on promoting feeling good about ourselves as opposed to getting to know ourselves in a more honest and painful way. I overdosed on positivity bias and neglected to learn from my negativity bias.

Little did I know at the time that this journey would turn me into an introvert and create a personal addiction to “what will people think phobia.” It opened the door to my acceptance of a fixed mindset that limited my potential, made me afraid to accept challenges and created a thin skin when it comes to receiving personal feedback.

To make matters worse, I ended up in a diversity and inclusion vocation predicated on having not so positive courageous conversations with people I don’t know and don’t understand.

It brings us to what I think are the 2 reasons why our workplaces continue to struggle with the management of bias.

It Makes Us As Individuals Uncomfortable
Really. No Kidding. Surprise, surprise. You must put on your big girl and big boy pants to play in this arena. You must find a way to seek out negative feedback from those who do not look like, talk like and act like you. And when you receive such counsel, you must act on this criticism in a meaningful way.
 
It Makes Other People Uncomfortable
Since plenty of other folks suffer from imposter syndrome and what will people think phobia, they too are often unwilling to tell it like it is when it comes to speaking truth to power. Those who do dip their toes in the negative feedback pond, are penalized with such monikers as trouble makers, disruptors and pains in the you know what.
 
To make matters worse, it is hard to discern reasonable feedback in this era of fake news, alternative facts or white lies to the point that the search for truth becomes a bridge to nowhere.

Want to become less biased. Hang out two signs on your cubicle that say: (1) Tell me what I need to get better and (2) Negative criticism is welcomed here.

Finally, move out of your “feel good paradigm that you are OK and I am OK.” We are not OK. We were all wrapped in swaddling clothes of bias when we left our mother’s womb. Some of us are still wearing the same style of clothes. If only others would point out to us we need a new look.