When I ask folks why they refuse to talk about what matters most, the most frequently offered response is, “I don’t know how to do it.” Whatever your response may be, the consequences are always the same, poor results. Such thinking usually results in what I call counterfeit conversation or “fake talk.” Fake talk occurs when you are in a prickly situation where you just don’t know how to talk about what really matters, so you don’t bring up the tough issue. Or perhaps you have been a party to a conversation where everyone nods in agreement about what to do in a certain situation, but then the expected outcome never materializes. Then there are those times that you really try to share what’s on your mind, but you open your mouth and just make a mess in attempting to talk about the issue. Or worst yet, your manager tells you to just keep your mouth shut.

We’ve been a party to these types of situations, and then ended up surprised when performance stays the same, accountability or responsibility doesn’t improve, morale remains low, personal engagement is nonexistent, customers aren’t satisfied, and culture change issues are never addressed. Whatever the situation, we usually don’t learn until later, after not getting the expected results, that the conversation went awry.

Sometimes fake talk occurs because we expect people to read our minds. That is why your listeners just keep doing what they have always done. Or perhaps you beat around the bush or are unintentionally vague, so your people misinterpret what you have said, then they don’t really have a clue about your expectations or what results they should be accountable for. When this happens, we find it easier to blame others rather than explore how we contributed to the results that we received. Someone once said that each of us are perfectly positioned to receive the very results that we have created by what we do or don’t do. Agreed!


Continue to read more:- Can You Talk About What Matters Most? Four Skills for Creating REAL Conversations