The summer between the second and third year of law school is the most important for finding a job after graduation. I was fortunate to secure a fantastic internship with a law firm that specialized in disaster litigation in the Western United States. I learned a lot during that summer and really enjoyed my experience.

However, my supervising attorney severely lacked the communication skills fitting someone of his position. One of the most demeaning things he did was to refer to me as “Dumb – - – -.” He used this disparaging term any time he addressed me. After enduring several months of such talk, another managing partner heard him use this label and asked him to stop referring to anyone in the office in such a manner.

understanding your frustrationsWhat was most baffling about this experience was that his contempt for me was unfounded. I worked hard and did great work. I even won a writing competition within the firm that allowed me to travel with a group of attorneys from the firm to travel to Puerto Rico to work on a major disaster case involving a fire which destroyed a major hotel.



I have often wondered why this brilliant attorney would refer to me and others in such derogatory terms. I am sure that there are a number of reasons. Perhaps that’s how he was treated when he was a young law clerk. Or, maybe he thought that motivation through fear was the most effective way to move people toward new heights of achievement. Or, maybe his view of himself or others was so abysmal that his directions and expressions toward others reflected the dark side of his view of humanity. Unfortunately, I will never know, but for an absolute certainty, I can declare that referring to anyone in a demeaning, belittling, or derogatory fashion does not inspire, uplift, or motivate anyone. And being disparaging does not necessarily improve results.

Feedback is absolutely essential for improving performance, increasing accountability, establishing responsibility, and achieving the desired results. How we speak and act toward others is essential to creating what we really want. Although I know the example above is extreme, I believe that we could all do a better job of becoming more aware of how we interact with those with whom we live and work. Sometimes we may let our frustrations and emotions get the best of us and sometimes we may be entirely unaware of how we come across. I hope that you will take the opportunity to reflect on how you are viewed by others and make whatever adjustments and improvements are needed to improve your communication with others.

Continue to read more:- Criticism is Not Feedback: Seven Questions for Understanding the Source of Your Frustrations