Why does the digital world spin so fast?
Why can't I simply hold on to the past?
Facebook, tweeting, smart apps...oh what's next?
It’s no longer “Safe Stress” ™…it’s “Practice Safe Text”!!

I am the turtle; the Gens are the hare
They’re always racing but who knows to where?
Those short cut acronyms…geez, what a crock
My poor English teach…in anaphylactic shock!

And do you use email to settle a score
With that mortal colleague residing next door?
The “e” in email is your best means of “escape”
As you blast that e-rocket fueled by sour grapes.

Okay, the three hundred messages that await
May have something to do with your volatile state.
Does always being wired make you real tired?
Or are you real tired of always being so wired?

Don’t blame the company; they’re just doing their best
In getting you, of course, to “Do More with Less.”
It’s not PTSD but PTDS –
Post-Technological Deluge Stress!

Smoldering anger, the anonymous stranger
Why not live large on the edge of danger:
Thumb trash and bully; “be happy, don’t worry”…
Having an avatar means never being sorry.

Hey, it’s just a multi-tasking age
Where ADHD is all of the rage.
When instant gratification seems a delay
Once you are bored, start texting away.

Why do these young guns keep talking so fast?
And spelling, of course, now a thing of the past.
Or when presenting – a web session or on a Skype phone
Please, an occasional pause…don’t just drone on an on.

Younger folks say “inclusion,” a trophy for all
Forming an identity that’s off the Facebook Wall.
While the grizzled gens want winners not mere pretenders –
One must divide Alphas from those bleeding heart losers.

Of course, many leaders don’t have a clue
For an e-conference, just what do you do?
Without live eyes and bodies providing that solid ground
“Little Napoleons” start throwing their own dead-weight around.

And for those folks who both drive and talk
As if life is but one stroll in the park.
Or sleepwalk and text…and what do they expect?
Either I clear a path or I’m the pain in the neck.

Believe me; it wouldn’t take much of a dare
To shove that damn phone right up their…hot air!
Alas, I’m sounding more and more like a grouch
Maybe it’s time for a new therapy touch.

Is there an e-shrink for whom you can vouch?
Who’ll restore an analog world…is that asking too much?
Oh mind go run wild, yet still be out to lunch…
Why not "Past Life Regression” ®…It’s plug-and-play on my "smart couch.”

So let me reach closure, before I “break bad”
On those always bragging about their iPad.
Consider my words, they are pretty rad:
I truly don’t mean to sound unkind…
Keep your iPad; I prefer an I-Mind!

© Mark Gorkin 2013
Shrink Rap Productions

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a national keynote and webinar speaker and "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations. A training and Critical Incident/Grief Intervention Consultant for the National EAP/Wellness Company, Business Health Services in Baltimore, MD, the Doc has also led “Stress, Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed Services. Mark, a former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com.