One of the biggest leadership lessons you will ever learn is this: Your biggest area for growth and learning will likely show up in the form of someone you do not like. This was true for me. When I got the vision of how I wanted to show up in the world, my boss became my upa guru. He was by most standards very difficult to deal with. Most people just avoided him, others went behind his back to human resources to complain about his behaviors and rough manor. I decided to live from the place I wanted to be instead of waiting until I had arrived. I lived by the mantra: Let your choices be based on who YOU are, not on what someone else does. Not enough space to give details here, but the bottom line is, I changed our relationship. I was the leader in this instance. My clarity about who I wanted to be was the catalyst for this dramatic change.

Most of us think that it’s someone outside of us, or some obstacle that keeps us from success, happiness, achievement etc. The reality is, the obstacle can be your greatest gift. No matter who is in your life that challenges you to the core, or what situation seems insurmountable consider this: This person, situation or obstacle might be your biggest opportunity for personal growth.

If you’ve been to one of my workshops you know this about me: I help you with the inside game and the outside game of success. You also know that I offer the non-physical aspects such as the philosophy, thought, feeling part of success, as well as the pragmatic. Combined, the synergy becomes what I call “Tools for Transformation.” Let me give you one such tool for transformation here. I call this the Express Experience Model.

Tool for Transformation: The Express Experience Model
If you want change you can affect change either from the outer journey or the inner journey. Look a the visual to understand how this works.

What you express out into the world comes from what you are experiencing. For example, if you find yourself avoiding a difficult conversation which is the observable behavior, or the expression, it stands to reason that your experience is one of fear.

You can either work on the experience of fear (the inner journey) or you can decide consciously to express differently, which is the outer journey.

This outer journey of new expression is not the same as fake it until you make it. Working on a different expression is different because you are consciously deciding how to step into a new truth. You are claiming ownership of the new reality, not as an impostor who hopes to gain approval from others for confirmation. You are the decision-maker and the creator of your new experience and expression.

As a result of YOU tapping into your power to create a new reality, your feeling (experience) will start to shift. You will know this new truth, when what used to trigger you no longer does; when you move about with more grace and ease; when you sense a new confidence and excitement, and your results come easier.

The other way to approach this is to examine the feeling and to do the internal work (which can come in many forms) to make a feeling shift. The natural expression will change due to the nature of the changed feeling.

Join me on July 17, 2013 at 10:00 Pacific | 11:00 Mountain | 12:00 Central | 1:00 for the 5 Traits of Authentic "Drama Free" Leaders.  ☆ ★ REGISTER NOW ☆ ★

Marlene Chism is a professional speaker, trainer, consultant and author of Stop Workplace Drama (Wiley 2011).  To learn more visit www.stopworkplacedrama.com or www.marlenechism.com