Culture can have a strong influence on how we handle conflict. When working in multicultural teams our cultural differences can impact our work relationships and project success. Learning how to manage conflict when working across cultures can help build trust, cooperation and efficiency.

I recently delivered a cultural team building training for a major international mining company. I was well prepped in advance by Gwenda, the HR Manager, when she said, “No one is talking to anyone!”

“What do you mean exactly?” I asked.

“In our Singapore office we have a global team mostly from Australia, the USA, China, India, Indonesia, Malaysia, Thailand, and Singapore. I am receiving complaints from all sides. The bottom line is the Australians and Americans feel the Asians don’t speak up, are not assertive, and lack in accountability. And the Asians feel the Westerners are rude, pushy, and do not care about their opinions.”

“It sounds like we are talking about day-to-day work problems and conflicts among team members that are preventing them from reaching their goals and getting the job done.”

“Exactly! We need to create a unified team so we can get our projects back on track. I need to get the Australians and Americans to dial-it-down, be more patient and listen better. And I need the Asians to have the confidence to speak up, take charge and even understand that it is okay to disagree with the Westerners.” Gwenda responded.

“The good news is that these cultural challenges are manageable. You basically have two cultures who prefer to handle conflict very differently. You have the Westerners, who are more of the ‘Push-Through Types’ when it comes to handling conflict and the Asians, who are more of the ‘Harmony Types’.

“Just last week I was coaching a Thai manager with similar problems. He was shocked that his Aussie managers could shout and debate with each other over a problem at noon and then go to the pub for a beer at 5pm. This Thai manager said, ‘Our Thai colleagues don’t understand that approach to dealing with conflict. How could the Aussies be so combative at lunch-time and best friends a few hours later?!’ When I asked him, ‘Why not?’ he replied, ‘There is no way most Asians could do that. We tend to hold onto the conflict and hard feelings much longer. It takes us more time to overcome a strong disagreement. And that’s a very important point that Westerners need to understand when working together with us.’”

“I have seen this scenario play out in our office as well.” Gwenda replied.

“I will work with the Aussies and the Asians and get them to understand the best practices in communication and handling conflict with each other.”

There is no simple formula for learning how to engage more effectively in constructive cross cultural conflict. But here are some tips for your Western executives in handling conflict with Asians:

1. Forming a good relationship with each team member is essential to conducting business in Asia. Your Asian counterparts must genuinely like and feel at ease with you which leads to better management of conflict and rarely letting conflict get out of control.

2. In severe situations, a third party can also relay messages and act as a mediator, to enable negotiations to take place without the injured parties having to look one another in the eye.

3. Using ”We” instead of ”I” is another tactic to encourage harmony, appealing to Asians dedication for the group rather than the individual. The use of ”We” suggests group responsibility rather than the personal disapproval of the manager concerned.

4. Conflicts are handled in privacy. Most Asians do not engage in public confrontation. Settling any disputes in privacy is much valued.

5. Keep your cool at all times. Managing your cool means you are able to control your emotions rather than your emotions controlling you. This is a necessary characteristic of a good manager.
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