Clear your mind
Never go into the conversation angry or at the peak of frustration! That anger or frustration will be visible to the employee and may change the results of the conversation.
Prepare when possible, have some notes to take with you into the conversation. However, you do not want to be scripted, you want to be in the moment with the employee.
Determine what you want to accomplish during the conversation ahead of time. Go into the meeting with the intention of resolving the concern and assume the employee will want to solve the concern as well. Be solution focused, not blame focused.
Your aim should be to maintain or better the relationship with the employee and the situation by having this conversation.
Prepare when possible, have some notes to take with you into the conversation. However, you do not want to be scripted, you want to be in the moment with the employee.
Determine what you want to accomplish during the conversation ahead of time. Go into the meeting with the intention of resolving the concern and assume the employee will want to solve the concern as well. Be solution focused, not blame focused.
Your aim should be to maintain or better the relationship with the employee and the situation by having this conversation.
Set the stage
Set a meeting time with the employee in advance so they can also prepare for the conversation.
Plan to meet in a private location.
Be clear with the employee on why you are having the meeting.
Show your concern for the employee and the situation.
Be respectful and sensitive to the employee’s emotions.
Seek to understand
Share your view of the situation. Include facts and your perceptions.
During the conversation, make sure that you arelistening more than talking. Ask questions, seek opinions/reactions/perceptions/feelings. Monitor how the employee is responding to the conversation.
Convey your acknowledgement of the employee’s view, even if you don’t agree.
Mine for other circumstances (including you) that might have contributed to the situation.
If the conversation gets out of hand, stop the conversation and ask to pick it up again the next day.
During the conversation, make sure that you arelistening more than talking. Ask questions, seek opinions/reactions/perceptions/feelings. Monitor how the employee is responding to the conversation.
Convey your acknowledgement of the employee’s view, even if you don’t agree.
Mine for other circumstances (including you) that might have contributed to the situation.
If the conversation gets out of hand, stop the conversation and ask to pick it up again the next day.
Monitor and manage yourself
Monitor and control your reactions, tone and body language during the conversation.
Don’t get destracted by the diversions, stay focused on the message you wanted to convey.
If you feel uncomfortable in the conversationble, consider saying so it, it shows authenticity and will help to build trust with the employee.
Remember that the conversation may not go as planned and that is ok! Stay focused on getting your message across.
Don’t get destracted by the diversions, stay focused on the message you wanted to convey.
If you feel uncomfortable in the conversationble, consider saying so it, it shows authenticity and will help to build trust with the employee.
Remember that the conversation may not go as planned and that is ok! Stay focused on getting your message across.
Move forward
Look for opportunities for agreement on the situation and encourage the employee to offer ways to move forward.
Clarify your expectations for the employee.
Reflect and learn from how the conversation went for the next time.
Remember, having the conversation is the first step towards change!
