“The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace”, written by Gary Chapman (author of the international bestselling “5 Love Languages”) and Paul White, details the absolute importance of showing appreciation for our people in the workplace, and equips us with the skills necessary to identify the language of appreciation they speak so we don’t miss the mark while explaining how much they really mean to our organizations.

The 5 Languages of Appreciation

Acts of Service: Someone who speaks Acts of Service appreciates it when you roll up your sleeves and jump in to help them in their time of need. Lending a helping hand for even ten or fifteen minutes to assist someone in getting caught up can significantly impact their job satisfaction.

Words of Affirmation: Speaking Words of Affirmation means you verbally show appreciation for the work someone does. To someone who speaks this language, it is important for them to hear that their hard work and effort is valued.

Tangible Gifts: Speaking Tangible Gifts can be as simple as rewarding someone with a gift card to their favorite restaurant, or tickets to watch their favorite sports team play. It is important the gift has personal meaning or is of interest to the reciever; giving an arbitrary gift with no meaning can actually have a negative effect because it will show how disconnected you are from the individual.

Quality Time: Quality Time is giving someone your undivided attention to share genuine thoughts, feelings or desires about life or work. An example of Quality Time would be picking up an employee’s favorite meal and swinging by their office to just chat about life over lunch.

Physical Touch: Someone who speaks Physical Touch feels appreciated when they receive a pat on the back, a handshake, or even a “high-five” for a job well done.

The foundation of “5 Languages” is that we have a tendency to show appreciation using only the language we speak, not using the language the receiver understands and responds to. As leaders, to be effective communicators we need to identify the “language” our people speak so we can show appreciation and provide feedback in a way that is truly meaningful to them.

A leader who speaks Words of Affirmation may be great at routinely thanking his or her people for their hard work, or telling they them how much they are valued, but he won’t genuinely connect with someone who speaks a different Language of Appreciation, such as Acts of Service.

Praising a worker who speaks Acts of Service by telling them they are doing a great job may be meaningless to them (and may even add to their frustration). However, if their supervisor stopped telling them how great they are doing and just jumped in to help out for a few minutes, they would feel sincerely appreciated.

The two most concrete ways to discern the Language of Appreciation your people value most is to consider the following questions:

1) How do they show appreciation to others? Since most people show appreciation using the language they speak, listening to how they show appreciation for tohers is a great indicator of how they wish to recieve it themselves. Do they shake someones hand when they have done a great job? Then they most likely speak Physical Touch. Do they enjoy sitting down with someone to talk about their kids or hobbies to celebrate a coworker’s succes? Then they probably speak Quality Time.

2) What do they complain about most? Lack of appreciation is one of the greatest determining factors of job satisfaction. Listen to your people, and they will clearly tell you what language they speak. Do they refer to their job as “thankless”? Then they probably speak Words of Affirmation. Do they complain that they are overwhelmed with work and nobody ever helps them? Then they may speak Acts of Service.

Within “5 Languages“ I found brilliant insight into the different considerations we must take when showing appreciation for our people in order to create and promote a satisfying work environment.

While reading, I easily recognized my own language (Words of Affirmation), and the Language of Appreciation most of my people speak. It also became clear to me that I have a tendency to heap Words of Affirmation on people who just want me to jump in and help them out with Acts of Service.

This book has changed the context in which I view the power of motivation by appreciation, and has helped me to significantly improve my personal leadership style.

I highly recommended this book to anyone aspiring to be a more effective leader.

Dr. Gary Chapman on "The 5 Languages"

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