Do you avoid difficult conversations? 
Do you have unresolved issues that could be solved by having that difficult conversation?  Or do you stay “in victim mode”?

When we face a problem, in order to become accountable, we have 3 choices:
1.       Take an action
2.       Manage our attitude or change our perception of the problem
3.       Leave the situation

So, if we are have a sick pet, a leaky faucet or a funny noise in the car, we know what action to take.  However, if we are facing a problem with a person, it becomes more difficult to resolve.  Many of us shy away from dealing with those sorts of situations because they become confrontational, uncomfortable, and we are unsure of the outcome.

What if you had an “assertiveness script” into which you could insert your problem, what it causes and an alternative outcome you would prefer?
Here it is:
1.       Describe the situation objectively
2.       State what happens as a result of the behaviour
3.       Make a polite, specific request

If you try this, you need to prepare carefully by anticipating the responses and reactions of the person with whom you are having the exchange.  They will feel you are criticizing them.  You will need to anticipate their objections and answer them in an honest and respectful manner.  In addition, you may have to have this rather painful exchange more than once in order to achieve the outcome you wish. In the end, you may have to go to option 2 or even option 3.

This template for discussion can bring you to accountability with an assertive approach.
None of those 3 options listed above are easy, however, they are our only options, so we do need to exercise them.  If we do not try we will not be able to reach accountability and we will be the one who is unhappy.

So next time you have an issue with a person, consider becoming assertive about it...you may be surprised by the results!