By Gwen Kesten, Ph.D., Solutions EAP Coordinator-Middlesex Hospital

Our June TIPS will focus on the work of Tal Ben-Shahar, a psychologist and one of the most popular lecturers ever at Harvard University. His work has been featured on CNN, CBS, in the New York Times and Boston Globe and now in the monthly TIPS from SOLUTIONS EAP.

Ben-Shahar’s research is in the field of “positive psychology”. He teaches about becoming happier which he describes as ‘an unlimited resource and a lifelong pursuit’

The first thing to do to become happier, paradoxically, is to accept painful emotions as a part of being alive, says Ben-Shahar. He explains that by fully experiencing the range of human emotions including anxiety, disappointment and envy, we more fully feel emotions such as excitement, pride and joy.

Ideally one can aspire to find balance in the level of focus on positive vs. negative emotions and a balance in emphasis on past, present and future. Ben-Shahar describes 3 prototypes with unbalanced focus on either past, present or future, all of which interfere with more comprehensive happiness.

The “Rat Racer” focuses all efforts toward the future without enjoying what is happening in the present is often disappointed when even goals that he has worked hard to achieve don’t lead to the level of lasting satisfaction he had anticipated.

The person who is chained only to the past may believe that nothing he can do will change his fate so he comes to develop a helpless approach to life.

The hedonistic view in which all energy goes toward seeking pleasure and avoiding pain is completely present oriented. This view has no regard for longer term goals and the satisfaction that they may bring.

Optimally the person who finds balance in devoting some energy to remembering and learning from the past, some to mindfully enjoying the present and some to incorporating a sense of future purpose, is most fully able to experience happiness.

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George "Bud" Wassell, MS, LPC, CEAP
Director, Solutions EAP
213 Court Street
Middletown, CT 06457
800-526-3485
fax: 860-704-6221
www.solutions-eap.com<http://www.solutions-eap.com/>