Almost every conversation involves 4 layers: Facts, Interpretations, Reactions and Ends. At Leadership IQ, we call this the FIRE model.
Each of these four elements of conversation feeds into the next. The process starts with the Facts, things that empirical evidence render objectively provable. And from the facts are born Interpretations, which bears emotional Reactions, which leads to a desired Ends. It's an automatic process, and it's the way the brain is wired to work. And in some situations, it's not a bad system to have in place.
In workplace situations, however, it can damage your career and cause untold headaches. And here’s why…
Suppose you're walking in a jungle where tigers are known to live, and suddenly you hear a rustling in the bushes. What do you do? Do you simply say, “Gee, I just heard a rustling in that bush over there,” as you continue blissfully skipping along? OR … do you say something like, "Holy crap, there's a tiger in the bushes; I'm outta here!" as you react without thinking and high-tail it out of the jungle?
If you're like most people, you'd do the latter; you'd react without thinking and remove yourself from potential danger. And there's a natural, evolutionary reason for that.
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You see, the center of your brain houses something called the limbic system, which controls your decision-making when high levels of fear or uncertainty are present. When you're in high-pressure situations where you must make snap judgments, your limbic system acts as an interpretation machine that takes observable facts and instantly interprets them -- often with very little knowledge or experience to go on -- to dictate an appropriate reaction toward your desired end. (This is commonly called the "fight or flight" impulse. It has been observed in animals fleeing predators and even in investors selling stocks as markets crash.) But the jungle scenario is an example of the FIRE model working to the best of its design: You hear a rustle in the bushes; your brain interprets that it could be a tiger; so you react by running; and the end result is you make it home safe.
In the jungle, the limbic system part of your brain can save your life. In fact, our survival as a species has depended on this most irrational but necessary part of the primitive brain.
But in the day-to-day course of business, the "rustle in the bushes" -- those observable, verifiable facts that grab the brain's attention, thereby leading to interpretations, reactions and ends -- typically aren't life-threatening. Yet the primitive part of the brain (the limbic system that's wired to produce IRE) doesn't know that; it takes over the moment you hear trouble; it doesn't bother to listen for more facts; it has all it needs to react. So what should you do to combat your natural fight-or-flight impulse when confronted with fear and uncertainty in the workplace?
To illustrate the answer, I'll use a common office scenario. Let’s say one of your employees, Bob, shows up for work five minutes late. It's an observable fact; you see Bob walk through the door just as the clock strikes 8:05 a.m. What you don't know is why Bob was late (and we'll get to that in a minute).
Next, let's assume Bob has an important meeting to lead in just a few minutes at 8:15. On top of that, over the past few weeks, you've been dealing with several employees who are bending the rules a bit too far: long lunches, leaving early, that kind of stuff.
You're normally a rational leader, but given the circumstances, Bob's late arrival is the last straw; you immediately begin to interpret based on the little knowledge you have to go on (the same way your knowledge of tigers in the jungle made you instantly fear a tiger and not a squirrel). You might be thinking something like, “Look at Bob waltzing in here five minutes late on such an important day. I’m getting really tired of the lazy attitude around here. I bet Bob's slacking off like the other folks, which certainly doesn’t say much about his commitment to the team.”
As goes the FIRE model, your interpretation leads to reaction; perhaps something along the lines of, “Bob sure has got a lot of nerve!” Now, with the emotional reaction out of the way, your next step is to crave a desired end; maybe something like, “From this point on, everybody must be here 10 minutes early.”
The problem with this scenario is that you didn't have all the facts. Once your brain's limbic system had taken over, facts became irrelevant; your brain had already launched into interpretation mode. Consequently, your interpretation was all wrong, and it led you to some reactions and ends that have no bearing on the actual situation and might actually make the situation worse.
But now, armed with the ability to recognize and thus self-correct the FIRE model, let's take another look at this scenario: When you see Bob stroll in five minutes late, you instantly start to have negative interpretations. (Again, this is natural given your knowledge and recent experiences.) But just as your brain starts to leap from interpretation to reaction, you recognize you're following the FIRE model, and you realize that the limbic system part of your brain (the irrational part) has taken over your decision-making. You take a step back to reassess the situation; it's clear you need a few more facts before you interpret. So you ask Bob a few simple questions (for example: “Bob, why are you late?”). As a result, you learn that Bob was walking into the building at 7:50 a.m. when he ran into the Chairman of the Board. The Chairman pulled Bob aside for a little chat, and he was especially interested in hearing Bob’s feedback about you and the kind of job you're doing. So Bob spent 15 minutes singing your praises and telling the Chairman about all the wonderful things you've been doing. Then Bob hurried into the building to make his important 8:15 meeting.
Once you can recognize the FIRE model, things sure look different, don’t they?
It's true that your primitive brain is a valuable asset -- when you're walking in the jungle -- but it's almost always a detriment in the workplace. If you realize that the FIRE model has taken over, step back, take a deep breath, and listen for more facts before you proceed to interpret, react or determine a desired end. Instead of being the person who addresses problems with knee-jerk reactions (and usually gets poor results), you'll be the leader people depend on when the stakes are high, because they know you will be calm under pressure and listen for all the facts before you react.
If you want to succeed in management, sales, customer service, patient interactions or anywhere that involves interacting with people, you need expert listening skills. In our new webinar, “The Psychological Secrets of Great Listening,” you will learn the groundbreaking science of truly effective listening techniques (including the kinds of listening techniques that clinical psychologists and behavioral investigators use). Click here to learn more.