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    How to Socially Intelligent Interact with People


    Interaction with People

    My leadership coaching clients who display great character communicate clearly and are empathetic. They are authentic in their interpersonal interactions and help people achieve a shared purpose. They are optimistic, inspiring and forward thinking

    One of my law firm Managing Partner executive coaching clients recently shared with me that he was having a hard time influencing several of the firm partners on a new strategy for the firm. We have been working on improving his executive presence including talking less and listening more. He is not great at getting others to cooperate with him, and has a fairly authoritative leadership style.

    I asked him “Can you give me a time when you were effective at being more collaborative?” He responded “When I focused more on the partner’s body language and emotional states.” A communication strategy he was working on in our coaching. I suggested that he experiment with listening deeply, and not talking for more than 30 seconds at a time at the next leadership team meeting.

    At our next meeting, he reported the partners on the leadership team started to cooperate more. The partners also shifted into listening more, and asking powerful questions rather than presenting endless logical arguments that impeded productive dialogue.

    Enlightened leaders know that creating a socially intelligent workplace culture increases engagement and alignment with company goals. In order for people to be fully engaged, they need to feel they are following trustworthy and emotionally aware leaders.

    Social Intelligence

    Psychologist Daniel Goleman rocked the world of leadership development with his landmark book, Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace (2000), and his theories on EI’s role in business interactions.
    In 2007, he followed up with Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships, which carried internal emotional awareness into the realm of external social facility.

    In the similarly titled Social Intelligence: The New Science of Success (2009), management consultant Karl Albrecht explores how social intelligence plays out in executive interactions. He suggests SI is “a combination of a basic understanding of people—a kind of strategic awareness—and a set of component skills for interacting successfully with them.”

    Albrecht defines social intelligence in relatively simple terms: “the ability to get along well with others and to get them to cooperate with you.” He proposes five distinct dimensions that contribute to social competencies:
    1. Situational Awareness: A social radar used to read situations and interpret people’s behaviors in terms of possible intentions, emotional states and proclivity to interact.
    2. Presence: A range of verbal and nonverbal patterns, to include one’s appearance, posture, vocal quality and subtle movements—a collection of signals that others process into an evaluative impression.
    3. Authenticity: Others’ social radar, whose signals lead them to believe we are honest, open, ethical, trustworthy and well-intentioned—or not.
    4. Clarity: Our ability to explain ourselves, illuminate ideas, accurately pass data, and articulate our views and proposed actions—all of which enable others to cooperate with us.
    5. Empathy: A shared feeling between two people; a state of connectedness that creates the basis for positive interaction and collaboration.
    Each dimension of social intelligence requires competencies well beyond the norm. Leaders cannot fake these qualities.

    Are you working in a professional services firm or other organization where executive coaches provide leadership development for authentic leaders? Does your organization provide executive coaching to help leaders develop a high performance business environment? Authentic leaders tap into their emotional intelligence and social intelligence skills to fully engage employees.

    One of the most powerful questions you can ask yourself is “How effective am I at sharing feelings with other people and creating a state of connectedness for positive interaction and collaboration?” Emotionally intelligent and socially intelligent organizations provide executive coaching for collaborative leaders who create sustainable businesses.

    Working with a seasoned executive coach and leadership consultant trained in emotional intelligence and incorporating assessments such as the Bar-On EQ-I, CPI 260 and Denison Culture Survey can help you create a culture where all employees are intrinsically motivated and fully engaged. You can become a leader who models emotional intelligence and social intelligence, and who inspires people to become fully engaged with the vision, mission and strategy of your company or law firm.

    About Dr. Maynard Brusman

    Dr. Maynard Brusman is a consulting psychologist, executive coach and trusted advisor to senior leadership teams. He is the president of Working Resources, a leadership consulting and executive coaching firm. We specialize in helping San Francisco Bay Area companies and law firms assess, select, coach, and retain emotionally intelligent leaders. Maynard is a highly sought-after speaker and workshop leader. He facilitates leadership retreats in Northern California and Costa Rica. The Society for Advancement of Consulting (SAC) awarded Dr. Maynard Brusman "Board Approved" designations in the specialties of Executive Coaching and Leadership Development.

    For more information, please go to http://www.workingresources.com, write to mbrusman@workingresources.com, or call 415-546-1252.
    Subscribe to Working Resources Newsletter: http://www.workingresources.com
    Visit Maynard's Blog: http://www.workingresourcesblog.com
    Connect with me on these Social Media sites.
    http://twitter.com/drbrusman
    http://www.facebook.com/maynardbrusman
    http://www.linkedin.com/in/maynardbrusman
    http://www.youtube.com/user/maynardbrusman






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    comment 4 Comments
    • Shane Granger
      01-18-2011
      Shane Granger
      Maynard, some of the best leaders I have every worked with and who got the best results were benign authoritarians. History is dotted with examples and as I write here I think about American leaders like Robert LeMay & George Washington who brooked no opposition to their leadership. Is the reason the West is moving into second place in most area's including business, because we now overly rely on EI & SI? Your thoughts are appreciated.
    • Maynard Brusman
      01-18-2011
      Maynard Brusman
      A couple of leaders I admire are Tony Hsieh CEO of Zappos who wrote "Delivering Happiness" and Chip Conley founder of Joie De Vivre Hospitality who wrote "Peak...How Great Companies Get Their Mojo from Maslow". Both enlightened leaders have high emotional and social intelligence. Abraham Lincoln would be a great historical example. The leaders of China, the Dictator of Tunisia who just fled, Baby Doc of Haiti who just returned are authoritarian leaders who may get "results" but at what costs?
    • Shane Granger
      01-18-2011
      Shane Granger
      Comment 1of2: I read with interest Tony's 'Delivering Happiness' slideshow via his LinkedIn page & certainly picked up some interesting points for my own 'kit-bag' (many thanks for the virtual intro). I probably won't read anymore on Maslow as it can be interpreted in many ways, for example doesn't Thomas Harris explain Hannibal Lector's killing as the ultimate form of self-actualisation?
    • Shane Granger
      01-18-2011
      Shane Granger
      Comment 2of2: Abraham Lincoln is an interesting figure & I'd do well to learn more about him. I notice you used some very nasty individuals to finalise your reply (I wouldnt call the Duvalier family nor Zine El Abidine Ben Ali benign at all)! I have no interest in teaching leadership but I always get concerned when leaders (or those who train leaders) are stuck completely on one side of the moral compass. Didnt Balzac say "Behind every great fortune lies a great crime". Your thoughts...

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