Deborah Dooley

I had something happen today that brought on a bit of nostalgia for me, and in the process reminded me of the basics of human communication. In our world today of texting, emails, twittering, etc., we’ve lost the fine art of speech.
 
There was a time in my lifetime I remember I had to call the operator if I wanted to make a long distance call, use a pen to mark an event or date on my calendar, or spend time at the drugstore to pick out just the right card for birthday or get well wishes. Humans are using their eyes and fingers to communicate more and more, and using their ears and voices less and less. Soon we will be a mute society who will never hear a spoken word, and everyone will need only the written word to “speak” to one another. 
 
In my childhood there were neighbors who shared a “party line” telephone, and could talk for hours about what was happening in their lives. There was richness in those chats that allowed people to hear and understand the emotion behind what was being said. There was no mistaking the meaning of the words being spoken, and those words flowed like water without effort. No matter who was on the receiving end of those words, they knew in an instant if you were happy, sad, kidding, mad, flirting, hurried, or in a panic.

Today’s communications are predominately done by fingers – texting, twittering, emails. Some creative types even developed some “emoticons” along the way to help us describe the feeling of the words, and shortcuts that require fewer keystrokes. But let’s look at what the type word conveys versus the spoken word…

A client asked me one day through an email if they should destroy some sensitive documents. I replied to them they certainly can, but to be sure they shred instead of tossing out the whole piece of paper. Their response back to me was “Absolutely! I would never just throw out something like that”! What I had done was to convey the opposite of what I meant, and in the process created some bruised feelings. I merely wanted to be sure she knew that she should shred those types of documents. The next step was to stop the typing and start talking…I picked up the phone and called my client to apologize. She was so appreciative of the fact I decided to talk instead of type, and both of us felt better after the telephone call.

It’s so easy to click “New” and begin typing. Many find it preferable to actually speaking to someone for fear of reprisal, appearing to be unintelligent, or just not wanting to be there when delivering bad news. We can’t forget that, as humans, we possess some very unique features. One of those is that we can communicate verbally, which sets us apart from the rest of the animal kingdom. Why then would we want to erode that ability, and lose it forever?

The next time you grab that mouse to click open your email program, take a moment to consider whether what you have to write would come across better spoken. Those black boxes on your desk still work!