Maynard Brusman

Emotionally Intelligent Conversations

I recently facilitated a couple of workshops on emotional intelligence and for some of my San Francisco Bay Area clients. The HR Director at a law firm asked me if I could write up some of the techniques and tools we covered in my “Emotionally Intelligent Conversations” workshop.

In her two books, Fierce Conversations and Fierce Leadership, training and development consultant Susan Scott explains that the word “fierce” doesn’t imply menace, cruelty or threats. In Roget’s Thesaurus, the word fierce is associated with the following synonyms: robust, intense, strong, powerful, passionate, eager, unbridled, uncurbed and untamed.

The following are some techniques and tips you can use for having fierce conversations at work, particularly difficult conversations that have to deal with conflict or lack of trust. I often suggest these ideas when coaching clients who are having trust issues and in conflict with one another. Clients have found them to be very powerful and effective. The following are some proven ideas to help you engage in assertive and emotionally resilient conversations.

Emotions Have a Bad Rep

Despite indisputable evidence to the contrary, many leaders believe displaying emotions in the workplace should be avoided. This old chestnut has been drummed into our collective consciousness for decades.

“Old school” beliefs include:
• Emotions have no place at work.
• Any display — apart from enthusiasm — is inappropriate and unprofessional.
• We don’t have time to deal with feelings in the workplace.
• If we want to talk about feelings, we should see a therapist.
• We can rely on intelligence and logic to persuade colleagues and customers.

These obsolete tenets are slowly being replaced by the following concepts:

• Emotions are running the show anyway, so we need to increase our awareness of them.
• Emotions motivate us, for better or worse, so we must pay attention to them.
• Failure to deal with emotions will cause greater problems down the road.
• Our jobs require us to create a culture that engenders affection, loyalty and connection with coworkers and customers.
• To win respect and influence others, we must respect and commit to them.

Are you working in a professional services firm or other organization where executive coaches are hired to provide interpersonal communication skills and leadership development for organizational leaders? Does your organization provide executive coaching to help leaders improve their interpersonal communication skills? Leaders at all levels need to improve their emotional intelligence and social intelligence skills.

One of the most powerful questions you can ask yourself is “Do I appropriately display emotions at work by engaging in fierce conversations?” Emotionally intelligent and socially intelligent organizations, provide executive coaching and communications skills training for leaders who want to have fierce conversations and be fully engaged and happy at work.

Working with a seasoned executive coach and leadership consultant trained in emotional intelligence and incorporating assessments such as the Bar-On EQ-i CPI 260 and Denison Culture Survey can help you create an organizational culture where the ability to connect and collaborate with people helps build business success. You can become a leader who models emotional intelligence and social intelligence, and who inspires people to become fully engaged with the vision, mission and strategy of your company or law firm.

I am currently accepting new executive coaching, career coaching, and leadership consulting clients. I work with both individuals and organizations. Call 415-546-1252 or send an inquiry e-mail to mbrusman@workingresources.com.

About Dr. Maynard Brusman

Dr. Maynard Brusman is a consulting psychologist and executive coach. He is the president of Working Resources, a leadership consulting and executive coaching firm. We specialize in helping San Francisco Bay Area companies and law firms assess, select, coach, and retain emotionally intelligent leaders. Maynard is a highly sought-after speaker and workshop leader. He facilitates leadership retreats in Northern California and Costa Rica. The Society for Advancement of Consulting (SAC) awarded Dr. Maynard Brusman "Board Approved" designations in the specialties of Executive Coaching and Leadership Development.

For more information, please go to http://www.workingresources.com, write to mbrusman@workingresources.com, or call 415-546-1252.
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