By Abby Anderson, MS, LPC, CEAP
Solutions EAP Program Coordinator

In order for us to know how to interrupt the button pushing process, we first have to understand where it starts. Dr. Albert Ellis, the originator of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, along with his colleague Dr. Arthur Lange discusses the process in their book “How to Keep People from Pushing Your Buttons”.

The process of button pushing can be thought of as ABC as developed by Dr. Ellis. In this view, A equals an Activating Event, the B equals our beliefs about that Activating Event, and C equals your Feelings and Behaviors about the event.

Let’s look at the Activating Events. For our purposes these are the daily hassles, the button-pushers that we allow to do a job on us. On the job it could be the constant interruptions, lack of privacy, the daily commute, a difficult coworker. In our personal life it might be conflict with a partner, the home workload, managing children, marriage, divorce, etc. Making a list of those things that are your personal button-pushers, things you believe cause you to overreact, is the first step to interrupting the process.

The B equals our beliefs about that Activating Event. We’ll talk more about this later.

The C equals our feelings and behaviors in the specific Activating Event. For instance, let’s say you’re on your way to an important meeting and you run into delaying traffic. If you get really anxious, aggravated, and frustrated (your feelings at point C) as you become increasingly late, then how might that affect your driving (your behavior at point C)? You might tailgate, dart in and out of traffic, yell at other drivers. Under calmer circumstances would you drive like that? Probably not.

This is the first point to the process. Feelings largely cause behavior. The more excessive your feelings are, the more likely you are to behave in an ineffective manner.

Next week we’ll look at the middle part of the process to begin to understand where to intervene to keep those buttons from being pushed.

If you would like to talk about this or any other problem or concern, please call Solutions Employee
Assistance Program at 1800-526-3485 or go on line (safely of course) to www.solutions-eap.com

George "Bud" Wassell, M.S., LPC, CEAP
Director, Solutions EAP
213 Court Street
Middletown, CT 06457
800-526-3485
fax: 860-704-6221
http://www.solutions-eap.com