Lynn Lievonen

The Dumbest Questions Asked of HR by CEOs <br />
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Q: Can I issue a policy that no women should be hired for this position? <br />
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A: How about waiting until next week? The legal defense funds are a little low now. <br />
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Q: How much money do I make?<br />
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A: Too much. <br />
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Q: Can we cancel the sick people from our insurance?<br />
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A: OK, but we'll have to start with you. <br />
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A: Can you lower my salary while I'm going through my divorce proceedings? I don't want to have my child-support payments based on this high salary.<br />
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A: If it would help, we could stop paying you at all. <br />
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Q: Why does HR need a budget?<br />
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A: Well, we're really getting too busy to keep having those bake sales. <br />
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Q: Can you train the managers to like their people? <br />
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A: Yes, just as soon as we've trained them to like you. <br />
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Q: Can you find my wife a babysitter? <br />
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A: Sure. How much do you pay someone to watch her? <br />
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Q: Why does everyone complain that they don't get to spend enough time with their families? <br />
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A: Because it's hard to help the kids with their homework between 1:00 and 4:00 a.m. <br />
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Q: (Holding a W-2 form) What's this?<br />
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A: That's the little certificate showing that the IRS is a majority shareholder in your income. <br />
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Q: Why do we have to control excessive absenteeism?<br />
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A: Let's discuss it when I'm back in the office next month.<br />
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