Lynn Lievonen

YOU KNOW YOU WORK IN CORPORATE AMERICA IF ...<br />
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You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies<br />
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Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro<br />
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Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket<br />
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Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um<br />
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You order your business cards in "half orders" instead of whole boxes<br />
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When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie<br />
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You get really excited about a 2% pay raise<br />
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You learn about your layoff on CNN<br />
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Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes<br />
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You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet<br />
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Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined<br />
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You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive<br />
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It's dark when you drive to and from work<br />
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Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else<br />
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Communication is something your group is having problems with<br />
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Free food left over from meetings is your main staple<br />
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Weekends are those days your significant other makes you stay home<br />
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Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital<br />
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Art involves a white board<br />
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You're already late on the assignment you just got<br />
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You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!"<br />
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Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube and are read only by your co-workers<br />
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Your boss' favorite lines are, "When you get a few minutes" or "When you're freed up"<br />
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Your boss' second favorite lines are, "...this isn't exactly what we need. It may be what we asked for, but things have changed."<br />
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Vacation is something you rollover to next year, or you try to use up three weeks between Christmas and New Year's because otherwise you will lose it, or you get a check for it every January<br />
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Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers"<br />
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Change is the norm<br />
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The only reason you recognize your kids and friends is because their pictures are hanging in your cube<br />
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You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting<br />
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You read this entire list and understood it.<br />
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