Many of us spend most of our waking hours working or thinking about work. And we don't work in a vacuum—there are always people with whom we must interact. Our work relations can be an inspiration, or they can drag us down and make life a living nightmare, if we let it.

When we're beholden to difficult people whom we cannot "speak our minds to," we’re faced with a particular challenge.

Any savvy HR professional knows that some people are natural-born leaders and others struggle in a position of power. There are great bosses, and there are bad bosses, but granted, there is no such thing as a perfect boss. Most of us have been in situations when even the best managers would fall short. Either he "flies off the handle" and throws an inexplicable tantrum or she has a 180 degree mood swing between 9 a.m. and the close of business.

It's easy to forget that bosses are mere mortals, you can't expect them to be perfect. The problem is that many people get stuck having to deal with such less-than-ideal behavior on a daily basis, and that can turn a hope of a bright future into exhausting struggle for survival.

It's clearly bad for rank-and-file, but it is also, in a less obvious way, bad for bosses. Bottom line: overall performance suffers.

It falls to HR management to create harmonious environment where everyone thrives and contributes fully to the common goal. For that it is absolutely necessary to find a way to manage the situation, initiate necessary change, and strike a balance that will allow you to meet your needs and provide job satisfaction.

After working in corporate America for 20 years, and studying workplace behavior for bulk of that time, I am compelled to share my insights with people for whom a problematic boss has become the biggest problem of their life, as well as with HR professionals who are faced with a challenge of protecting their talented workforce from faltering higher-ups. I believe that employees, HR professionals, and corporate leaders alike can be change agents to tame what I call "terrible office tyrants," or "TOTs," creating harmony between management and employees that will improve working environment for both.

Having parented two boys, remembering vividly their toddler days, I couldn't help noticing that when bosses cannot modulate their emotions, or when the pressure of their responsibility becomes overwhelming, they often behave like little kids. I had often joked about it, but at some point I realized that it wasn't just an off-handed quip . . . it was the truth and it could help many. By role modeling good behavior and discouraging the negative, we could bring about important changes.

By seeing the "hidden child" in every one of us, whether a fickle tyke in over her head, whiny crybaby or self-centered tyrant, I began to see the parallels. That is how Terrible Office Tyrant—TOT—was born.

I also realized that in my own corporate experience I had unknowingly applied parenting techniques in the workplace for many years. There is no arrogance, no patronizing in this "parenting"; rather, it is based in empathy. I looked for the primary childlike motives behind people's actions, then used the techniques that worked most effectively with young kids.

This insight prompted me to have a closer look at TOTs and tykes and compare their behavior systematically. Over a seven-year period, we commissioned national independent studies of thousands of respondents; I interviewed over 100 people, including psychologists, videotaped testimonials, and scoured existing material, all to confirm the parallels. While analyzing the adults' childlike behavior, I even saw my own executive TOT moments in "HD." I realized it came with the territory, but must be kept in check.

The results of this research, paired with my corporate experience, are found in Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job (John Wiley & Sons) – in which I synthesize the solutions to many varieties of "bratty bosses" and "little lost lambs" of the corporate world.

I sincerely believe that my book can help make the workplace much more productive. Employees will find in it a useful handbook for dealing with "boss problems." For all levels of management it is a good guide for improving their relations with the employees—CEOs would do well to encourage the book to proliferate among the ranks of corporate managers. And the human resource professionals, to whom it falls to take care of all of the above, could work with the corporate leadership to encourage these management techniques and discourage unproductive boss behavior. The result will be a more humanized workplace that is "safe for success." This kind of "TOT-proofed company" will mean enhanced profitability, and a win-win for employees and management.

Whether we're two or fifty-two, we really all have the same core emotions, desires, instincts, and yes, training needs. Each day, we have the opportunity to proactively manage "TOTdom" – encouraging the child inside to inspire, not rule us.

By adopting a calm, rational, and professional approach at work, we will all contribute to a more productive (and yes, even sane!) workplace.