Last week: Acceptance – Boundaries - Compassion

DISCRETION – utilizing one’s personal power to choose a words or course of action based on a quick, but always careful, analysis of the situation at hand. Very simply, this is what we do when we count to 10 before speaking. A measured response will almost always be better for one’s blood pressure than a knee-jerk reaction.

EMPATHY – the ability to put oneself in another’s place – for a moment at least. It involves willingness to search for some level of understanding of possible factors motivating people to speak or act as they do, refusing to pass judgment until all evidence is in (which, of course, means almost never). It need not lead to approval or capitulation, necessarily, but rather a broader perspective possible only by stepping back to take in a more inclusive view.

FORGIVENESS – In the context of peacefulness this has far more to do with one’s own behavior than with that of an offender. To forgive is to consciously choose to let go of one’s own anger, hurt or resentment. Sometimes our affection for the other person, or perhaps his or her goodness, simply outweighs the bad behavior. At other times the emotional pain and stress of holding on to negativity suggests letting go as the more peaceful option for all concerned.

GRATITUDE – an emergency brake handle to slow and stop a runaway train of stinkin’ thinkin’ and bad feelings. For some reason many peoples’ default thinking patterns seem to promote fret and worry far more than joy and celebration. Upon first recognizing the signs of a frantic ride on a negative thought train, one can quickly and effectively stop and change course by simply taking two minutes to consider and identify ten “gratitudes” – things in life for which one is grateful, however significant or trivial they may be. The mere act of choosing to think about positive things changes one’s entire thinking pattern to include more balance and reason. Fortunately for us, our emotions must follow in line and, while not making problems go away, usually lighten our mood along the way.

HONESTY – (a.k.a. refusing to lie – to oneself or others.) While certainly easier said than done as we consider the many complexities of daily interactions, the sincere pursuit of honesty is 95% of the battle. Dishonesty is based solely on fear, shame or greed, none of which ever served anyone well in the long run. Becoming more honest clears away emotional and spiritual debris, allowing for higher self esteem, new courage and strength to be oneself.

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