Lynn Lievonen

<strong>The job security quiz</strong><br />
The job security quiz will help judge how long you'll end up at your current job and what will become of you.<br />
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The boss appears at your cubicle and finds you playing DOOM at your desk, you... <br />
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A. Swear to take the game off your hard drive forever, but first make a copy for his kid. <br />
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B. Inform him that you're planting a virus in the program so that everyone who plays it on company time will get reported to Human Resources. <br />
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C. Tell him that whatever he wants will have to wait until you've finished the level. <br />
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There's a cush job opening in the mail department, stuffing envelopes with free samples. It pays twice as much as your current position. What do you do? <br />
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A. Meekly suggest to your boss that transferring you might improve the morale of everyone who's been working with you. <br />
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B. Politely ask your boss for a transfer and offer to split the salary increase 50/50 with him. <br />
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C. Barge into your bosses office and demand reassignment so that you, "Won't have to work under someone who should have retired before he became a laughingstock." <br />
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When your boss throws a party and invites everyone in the office except you, what do you do? <br />
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A. Stay home and watch 'I Love Lucy' reruns. <br />
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B. Show up at the party anyway, with a really expensive bottle of wine and a briefcase full of small, unmarked bills. <br />
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C. Go over to your bosses house after everyone has left and throw rocks at the windows, shouting obscenities. <br />
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Your boss criticizes your work unjustly; what do you do? <br />
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A. Listen politely, and then apologize. <br />
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B. Blame someone else. <br />
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C. Climb on top of your desk, and hold up a piece of paper on which you've written the word "union." <br />
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When the CEO parks his car in your spot, you... <br />
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A. Wash and wax it, then leave your business card under the windshield wiper. <br />
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B. Key it ... then tell the CEO's secretary you saw your boss near it, loitering suspiciously. <br />
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C. Key it ... then proudly tell the CEO's secretary that you did it. <br />
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Your boss asks you to play Kooky the Clown for his kid's fifth birthday party, what do you do? <br />
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A. Offer to pay for the costume rental and cake, too. <br />
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B. Agree to do it, then blackmail a co-worker into doing it while pretending to be you.<br />
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C. Agree to do it, then show up as yourself and tell the children that Kooky is dead. <br />
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The boss accuses you of not keeping the office clean; you... <br />
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A. Clean the office while he supervises. <br />
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B. Tell him that you delegated the job, then fire the underling you supposedly gave the job to. <br />
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C. Clean the office again, but this time, you use your boss' face. <br />
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Scoring this test<br />
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Mostly As: You have nothing to worry about. They'll never fire you because you're a doormat. <br />
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Mostly Bs: You're not just going to keep your job, with your complete disregard for other people's feelings, you'll positively shoot up the ladder of success. Congratulations! You're a real jerk. <br />
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Mostly Cs: You are a career kamikaze. The boss would have fired you long ago, but he's terrified of what you might do.