Lynn Lievonen

<strong>MURPHY'S LAWS ON WORK </strong><br />
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A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants. <br />
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Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. <br />
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The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get. <br />
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You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard. <br />
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Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day. <br />
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Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in, and say nothing about the other. <br />
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When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves. <br />
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If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. <br />
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There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office. <br />
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Mother said there would be days like this, but she never said there would be so many. <br />
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Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back. This is what I'm doing wrong. <br />
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Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous." <br />
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Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour. <br />
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To err is human, to forgive is not company policy. <br />
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Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing. <br />
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Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail. <br />
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The last person that quit or was fired will be the one held responsible for everything that goes wrong - until the next person quits or is fired. <br />
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There is never enough time to do it right the first time, but there is always enough time to do it over. <br />
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The more pretentious a corporate name, the smaller the organization. (For instance, The Murphy Center for Codification of Human and Organizational Law, contrasted to IBM, GM, AT&T ...). <br />
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If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it. <br />
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You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk. <br />
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People are always available for work in the past tense. <br />
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If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done. <br />
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At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying. <br />
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When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried. <br />
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You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like. <br />
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No one gets sick on Wednesdays. <br />
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When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?" <br />
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The longer the title, the less important the job. <br />
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Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives. <br />
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An "acceptable" level of employment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job. <br />
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Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse. <br />
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All vacations and holidays create problems, except for one's own.<br />
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Success is just a matter of luck, just ask any failure.