Yes, I have quoted Elton John. This song title was so appropriate to this blog I couldn't resist. Sorry to all of those who aren't fans. Did I say "sorry"? Yes sorry. Do you like that word "sorry"? Do you say it at home? Do you say it at work? Do you make your kids say it? "Say sorry for hitting your sister." Is anyone happy after that?

Here's my opinion on saying "sorry" at work. If you work in a large organization, like it or not, you have to manage your reputation. Because of this, I always tell my clients to say "sorry" very rarely. "Sorry" doesn't fix anything and at work it can signal weakness. You are better to fix the problem and drive-on in most instances.

However, sometimes saying "sorry" is the only option. You screwed up, you can't fix it, you say "sorry". If you are going to say sorry, say it well. You say sorry well by saying it unconditionally (even if the other person also screwed up) and that takes strength. I have a story on this.

One of my clients (let's call him Jack) recently made his boss look bad in a conversation with a person who was very senior in his organization (more senior than Jack's boss). Jack shared some negative feedback on his boss with this very senior person. In a conversation with this senior person, Jack suggested that his boss was out to make him (Jack) look bad. The senior person then called the boss. The boss called Jack. Jack called me. Here's what I said to Jack, "Say sorry and say it unconditionally."

Saying "sorry" was hard for Jack. The boss is most likely out to make Jack look bad. Jack has had a lot of problems with this boss.

How did the conversation go? Jack said "sorry" and only "'sorry". He didn't say, but "you pushed me there because of your actions". He didn't make any excuses. Jack recognized that no matter how badly he had been treated, he was wrong to bad mouth his boss. That took strength. The meeting was short and effective. Both Jack and his boss moved on. The relationship is a tiny bit better. Jack has learned something - if you are wrong and can't fix it, say sorry and say it well.