Aileen MacMillan

Think of the items you have collected that represent your achievements. Most likely you have an assortment of trophies, diplomas, thank you letters or plaques that have been around for years.  These things act as a reminder of accomplishments you are proud of. 

How many of you still have your grade school or high school report cards? I have mine tucked away somewhere, as do many people I know. But, why does it matter to us what our art, English or math marks were many years ago?

Our relationship with feedback goes back to our youth. As young children, we learned from the feedback we received from the adults in our lives. As school-aged children, we learned about ourselves through the feedback we got from our peers.

The way that others respond to us has an impact upon our self image. Thus, it should come as no surprise that performance feedback can trigger strong emotions. Most of us strive to do our best; so when someone tells us our best is not up to par, it can hurt.

Consequently, it makes sense to remain mindful of the potential impact of feedback on the receiver. This can help ensure that the message heard is the one you intended to communicate.

Messages need to be tailored with the individual in mind. Consider the following questions:
-how will the feedback you are about to deliver be received?
-how will it impact the employee’s self-image?
-how will it impact the employee’s self-confidence?

Constructive feedback is important and needs to be given. However, the goal of feedback is to motivate the individual to act positively on the information presented. Conveying a message in a way that the receiver perceives to be demoralizing may spur him or her to act in a self protective manner. If an individual feels backed into a corner, the first response may be may be to fight back.

When trying to determine the best way to deliver feedback, put yourself in that person’s shoes; listen to what an employee has to say before making any conclusions and; finally, remember that what you say may not be what the employee hears.

This may give you something to consider as you dust those old trophies for the thousandth time.