In a crisis, I suspect that many of us tend to want to downplay the harsh realities of the situation. Yet repeatedly we hear experts suggest that the best way to deliver a difficult message is to respectfully and supportively state the truth.

Last night, the Oprah Winfrey Show explored the deepening economic crisis and its impact upon American citizens. The featured guest, Suze Orman struck a chord of emotion in viewers (or at least in this viewer) when she told a family that the best solution to their crushing dept was to sell their home. Undoubtedly, this was not an easy task, but Orman delivered her advice with the conviction that it would benefit the receivers.

Imagine what it would be like to be on the receiving of end a message like that. Certainly, you might feel any of the following:

-the advice is either unwanted or very difficult to hear

-the solution makes sense

-the advice was given with good intentions

Often times, when we have to deliver a tough message, the recipients behavior reflects the first point, even though he or she recognizes that the following two points are valid.

Orman challenges individuals to demonstrate personal responsibility. Her message last night was along the lines of …I care enough about you to tell you this…… In the end, the recipients of the advice are the ones who benefit the most.

Isn’t performance management similar? The concept of personal responsibility lurks behind goal alignment, the communication of business goals, pay for performance and performance management. The ideal scenario is one in which all employees are committed to making sure their efforts contribute towards the success of the company.

Consider these scenarios:

•       An employee is performing poorly in a job and appears to be in a position for which his or her skills are not well matched. What is best for this employee: to remain in the job and continue to perform at a low level or to explore career options which would use his or her skills more effectively?

•       An employee lacks a necessary skill which leads to unsatisfactory performance. What is best for this employee: to identify the skill gap early and establish a plan to gain new skills or to hear about unacceptable performance levels during an appraisal, or worse yet – make a costly mistake?

•       An employee possesses a personality trait that is holding him or her back from advancing within the organization. What is best for this employee: to be told of this “fatal flaw” and be given a learning opportunity or to be denied a higher position within the organization?

In the end, it is not only about honest direct feedback – it is about having the best interests of the receiver in mind.