Most of us would rather have a root canal (without the Novocain) than give an employee feedback about poor performance, particularly when it relates to a behavior based issue. Yet, we will eagerly discuss or more accurately complain about these issues to colleagues, friends or family. So what stops us from providing feedback to the employee?
Clearly, identifying the performance issue isn't the roadblock. Ask any group of co-workers what the problem is with a difficult employee and they usually can name it without hesitation:

" "You, mean Mr. Know-It-All? If he would ask for help instead of pretending he knows how to do everything maybe he would meet his deadlines.
" "She stresses about everything. I just want to slip a valium in her diet coke.
" "He's mastered the art of looking busy.
" "She's an excuse expert.
" "Oh, he will promise you anything, just don't hold your breath waiting.

Why Managers Avoid Giving Difficult Feedback
So, why do we all steer clear of challenging performance conversations?  Over the years we have heard many reasons for why people avoid or delay providing feedback. Here are some of the more common reasons:

" I don't know what to say
" The employee is due to retire in two years anyway&
" I'm worried about the employee's reaction
" What if I make things worse?
" This person has been here a long time and who am I to bring up the performance issue?
" What about legal ramifications?
" It will demotivate the employee
" I hate conflict
" Maybe the problem will fix itself
" I don't think the employee is capable of changing
" I don't know what the solution to this performance issue is.

Even the most seasoned managers can come up with a million excuses for avoiding or putting off a difficult performance conversation. We believe the problem lies more with the method we traditionally use to provide feedback rather than with some shortcoming of the individual responsible for orchestrating the performance conversation.

The Traditional Method of Performance Feedback and Why it Doesn't Work
The traditional method in which managers provide performance information to employees, usually referred to as constructive criticism, is often the very reason we avoid or delay giving feedback in the first place. Most of us believe we need to create a bullet-proof case revolving around a list of the employee's shortcomings. Is it any wonder that most feedback recipients get defensive and feedback providers find difficultly in achieving anything remotely resembling a productive outcome, never mind gaining agreement on what needs to change?  Once you have been through this process once or twice it becomes easier just to avoid addressing performance issues altogether. Let's just say there is no real mystery for why managers tend to steer clear of giving feedback about poor performance!

3 Keys to Reducing Defensive Reactions to Feedback
It is clear that the key reason managers avoid giving feedback is not because they don't understand the problem but rather because they don't know how to craft a message that is "sayable and "hearable. The Performance Continuum Feedback Method (PCFM)  is a straight forward approach to do just that. The PCFM helps you put the focus on the positive, desired performance rather than highlighting the current negative performance. The result is a message that managers can deliver comfortably and with confidence in the fact that the employee is more likely to respond positively.

Key #1: Identify the Performance Issue
Identify the negative behavior that is holding the individual back - not a problem for most people. Then describe it in the opposite, positive terms.

For example, if the employee lacks finesse when dealing with clients and behaves like a "bull in a china shop the manager would ask for the employee to develop a more polished and professional style.

For an employee that makes frequent mistakes, the manager would talk in terms of developing more accuracy.

For the employee who chronically complains that everything is a problem but never offers any solutions, the manager might ask the employee to develop a problem solving approach.

Key #2: Be Specific about the Desired Change
It is important to get specific about what you mean by a "more polished and professional approach, "more accuracy or a "problem solving approach. For example, "What I mean by 'develop a problem solving approach' is that when you first notice a problem that is preventing you from getting your job done I want you to first think through a solution and then approach me if it's something you need my help with.

Key #3: Detail the Benefits of Making the Change
Lastly, it is useful to explain to the employee the benefit of developing the performance area. First, ask yourself "What problems does this performance cause?  In the case of the chronic complainer who never offers solutions, their behavior most likely a.)  creates negativity, b.)  wastes time and c.)  garners complaints from co-workers who are sick and tired of listening to this person drone on about what's wrong.

So, the "here's why I'm asking you to focus on this part of the message would sound something like this. "The reason I want you to focus on solving problems is that people will notice and appreciate your 'how do I make things better around here' approach. This will make more constructive use of the time we have and it will bring more positive energy into the team.

Notice how the message is still honest yet talks in terms of what WILL happen when the employee develops a problem solving approach. These keys are the core of the Performance Continuum Feedback Method, a step-by-step methodology designed to make anyone comfortable delivering even the most difficult feedback.

Conclusion
Talking in terms of the desired performance versus the current undesired performance serves two purposes:

1. We are more likely to initiate the discussion because the wording makes it more comfortable to deliver the feedback.

2. The employee learns what is expected (as opposed to focusing on what's wrong) and their self-esteem is left intact.  

Bypassing negative performance descriptions and the resulting negative employee reaction allows the employee to respond more positively; ultimately facilitating the move towards the solution phase of the discussion - the ultimate goal of feedback.

A simple rule of thumb is to provide the employee with at least two opportunities to receive the feedback and make progress on the issue. Only when it becomes clear that the employee is unwilling or unable to make progress should more extreme measures be used - such as disciplinary action or documented performance plans.

If you would like more information about the 6-Step Performance Continuum Feedback Method, or have a specific performance issue you would like to discuss please contact me at 781-210-2049 or jamie@employeeperformancesolutions.com Jamie is the Founder and President of Employee Performance Solutions, is the Director of the Work Systems Affiliates International Performance Management Group Practice and is a frequent contributor on the topic of performance management.