Joseph Ravick

Like it or not, conflict between people is inevitable, yet fair and acceptable resolution is not. In business as in life, people interact and their differences lead to conflict, and often to dispute. As Roger Fisher, William Ury and Bruce Patton wrote in their influential book, Getting To Yes, "Whether in business, government or the family, people reach most decisions through negotiation." Processes dating back to ancient times and cultures have been labelled as alternative dispute resolution (ADR) strategies and are increasingly preferred for resolving business and personal disagreements. <br />

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As was so often observed in many of the conflicts we were asked to help resolve, the following three teams of business owners had to make vital decisions when negotiations failed, resulting in disputes that took on a life of their own. (Names and some details have been altered to protect confidentiality.) <br />

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<strong>Home-based business vs. strata council </strong><br />

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Bill Jones wasn't worried when illness waylaid him; optimistically, this 45-year-old entrepreneur decided to refocus his time and energy in a home-based business. He would market previously-owned treasures through an Internet auction site with the help of his wife and teenage son. Their townhouse almost paid for, Bill thought he was secure in his home office and showroom-warehouse. Until one of his neighbours objected.<br />

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His strata council told him to cease and desist, and in that moment of heightened stress and anger, all Bill could see was a long battle ahead with little guarantee of success. With little thought for the consequences, he didn't comply with or even answer the directive, generating a predictable reaction from Charles Stewart, the council president. <br />

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From there, the dispute became increasingly personal, pitting neighbour against neighbour. No one saw a way out of the long and arduous progression of events. A court finally settled the dispute and everyone walked away tense and angry. Bill and his family had to move and significant residual tensions remained between some neighbours and owners. So who won? In my opinion, everybody lost, and unnecessarily. <br />

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Bill would have done well to heed Sun Tzu's 2,500-year-old aphorism: "The smartest strategy in war is the one that allows you to achieve your objectives without having to fight." In a case with issues similar to his, home-based businesswoman Beth Brown spent time and energy with the strata council chair to reach a mutual understanding first about what was important to each other. Agreeing they shared values about community spirit and neighbourliness made it easier to resolve differences amicably about her at-home business activity. She assured the Council that clients would no longer be coming to her home and wandering around the property; Beth on her part was satisfied since she could carry on her business while remaining friends with her neighbours and co-owners. <br />

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Partners' blow-up over 'widgets' </strong><br />

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Jon and his dad William White joined with Samuel and Patricia Green to realize their common dream of owning and managing a small manufacturing business. For the first five, very busy years, all worked diligently side by side as friends and colleagues. Father and son marketed the products and handled administration, while the couple managed production and distribution. <br />

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Then one day, a verbal explosion by two of the partners in the open-office environment exposed an underground conflict. Ostensibly over who decided administrative practices, the flare-up quickly deteriorated into areas like how hard each worked, surprising both partners by the vehemence demonstrated by the other. Clearly what had been percolating below the surface had now boiled over, bringing their now successful enterprise to the brink of disaster. When their bank manager, also a friend, heard a brief description from William about what was going on at Widget Manufacturing, he recommended an industrial mediator. The divisive differences by now had invaded all parts of the owners' personal and professional lives, and all were quick to agree. <br />

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The mediator helped the owners acknowledge their common dream, so the four challenged their "conflict monster  their common threat  instead of each other. Curiosity replaced judgement as they collaboratively problem-solved how each would work and interact, and their areas of responsibility. They established open and active lines of communication, and a conflict-resolution process for future differences. It wasn't easy at times; but when a speed-bump came up along the way, re-stating their common dream put them back on track. Ten years later, their business has grown beyond what even they had envisioned. The experience of resolving that first big blow-up has undoubtedly helped their success.<br />

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<strong>J & K Resource Centre dispute:</strong><br />

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Jane Black and Katherine White's problems began when the partners became drawn into a staff conflict between their two office administrators, Betty Brown and Alice Gray. As the conflict spiralled out of control, each of the disputants targeted either Jane or Katherine or both, triangulating to gain support. Now, with the entire staff and management involved one way or another, communications came to an abrupt halt, as did all but the day to day operational necessities. In time, the only interactions between centre staff were the regular emails Jane sent Katherine about what she should be doing. Katherine became so frustrated and confused that she escaped on vacation to reflect on her options. Eventually, she notified Jane that she was giving up her share of the still-struggling enterprise, preferring to take a financial loss, to move on with her life. Today, their shared dream of a "bliss station" offering counselling, therapy, massage, books and gourmet coffee, has become history.<br />

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Interestingly, Katherine recently told me how differently the whole sorry mess might have gone if only she would have joined Jane to resolve the interpersonal dispute between their office administrators before it all got out of hand. Or maybe not. <br />

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<strong>ALTERNATIVES TO A WAR OF WORDS</strong><br />

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The list of potentially devastating business disputes is almost endless but business contracts, malpractice, liability, outstanding debt, partnership dissolution, and intellectual property issues are all on the current "hit parade of disputes ending up before judges or arbitrators. If you doubt that dispute resolution is a fastest-developing growth industry, look under the "Lawyers" section of any city's yellow pages directory. <br />

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Whatever the details, the bottom line on business conflict is that when differences have not been resolved to everybody's relative satisfaction, people will do whatever it takes to gain a "fair remedy. Since 95 per cent of all business litigation settles prior to trial (according to the American Bar Association), why do people keep choosing the court option to settle differences when appropriate alternatives such as conflict coaching, mediation and conciliation have proven to be so beneficial, expedient and cost-effective? Unfortunately, I don't have the answer although it seems obvious that many business people still make flawed decisions in moments of stress, anger, confusion or any combination thereof; but then again, don't we all. <br />

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A DAILY CHOICE TO BE MADE, WISELY </strong><br />

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In the 25 years since Fisher and Ury first published their findings from The Harvard Negotiation Project in "Getting To Yes, much has been learned about conflict, how it grows, and how to manage and resolve differences. As the sadistic Captain of Road Prison Gang 36 said to Paul Newman in the 1967 movie, Cool Hand Luke, "What we got here is a failure to communicate." <br />

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Since all conflicts will be resolved, sooner or later, satisfactorily or not, the decision about avoiding, collaborating, or taking the war-like adversarial road to get what we want or need must be made daily. Next time you encounter challenges involving differences that seem to be moving towards conflict, hit the pause button, and choose an appropriate resolution process. Consider how much winning or losing will cost you from the broadest possible perspective.<br />

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