Funny phrases for “fired”
“…A brave but necessary response to combat exploding profits.” GM’s Roger Smith

“Strengthening ______________(company name) Through Expense and Headcount Reduction”

“Corporate Restructuring”

“Elimination of Employment Security” (PacBell)

“Workforce adjustments”

“Census reductions,”

“Institution of a program of ‘negative employee retention’.”

“We’re managing our staff resources. Sometimes you manage them up, and sometimes you manage them down.”

“Initiation of operations improvements”

“Assignment of candidates to a mobility pool”

“Implement a skills mix adjustment”

“Eliminate redundancies in the human resources area.”

“A volume-related production schedule adjustment”

“Initiating a career alternative enhancement program”

“Right-sizing” (apparently due to a prior wrong-sizing)

“Employee Voluntary Separation Program”

“Normal Involuntary Attrition” (Cisco)

“You’ve been selected for our corporate realignment program”

“RIF - Reduction In Force”

Corporations offer workers “vocational relocation,” “career assignment and relocation,” a “career change opportunity,” or “voluntary termination.” Workers are “dehired,” “deselected,” “selected out,” “repositioned,” “surplussed,” “rightsized,” “correct sized” “excessed,” or “uninstalled.”

Firing workers is such big business that there are companies whose business is helping other companies fire workers by providing “termination and outplacement consulting” for corporations involved in “reduction activities.” But don’t worry; if you’re “managed down,” the “Outplacement Consultant” will help you with “re-employment engineering.”