It usually starts out like this, "We really like this manager. He's destined right for the top, but he just needs to assert himself. Or, "I feel that I need to stand up for myself more. I am not certain if anyone is really listening. These are two sides of assertiveness question, those being told they need to be more assertive and others knowing they need to be so. Whatever the outcome, assertiveness is personal; no one can do it for you. You need to stand up for yourself.

Lack of assertiveness sometimes, but not always, stems from feelings of professional inadequacy, that is, do people really care about what I say or how I say it? I'm just me. No wonder they are more comfortable being a "potted plant in the corner rather than commanding attention at the center of the room. The challenge for this individual's manager, or perhaps his executive coach, is to get him or her out of her own skin. Easy to say, but how can you do it?

Reverse the playing field. Rather than put the onus on the individual to change behavior, ask the person to do something for the organization. That is turn assertiveness into an actionable behavior that is done not for self, but for the team. This is a leadership proposition; that is, it is not about you, it's about what you do for others.

Toward that end, here are some suggestions to help instill an organizational mindset.

Master the business case. This is the why of business. Most managers are adept at developing and stating the business case for their departments. By mastering its why's and wherefore's managers will have a foundation for a presentation as well as information for sharing with bosses, peers, and direct reports. Mastery is important and for most managers this comes easy and so it's a good place to start.

Develop elevator speeches for key topics. Assertiveness requires artful articulation of ideas and proposals. Every manager needs one or three in her hip pocket. Each elevator pitch should center on a single concept, e.g. the case for a new product, the argument for a new process, or the reason for reorganization. Short and succinct they can be rehearsed and when delivered will seem spontaneous, not to mention impressive.

Plan your participation in meetings. Non-assertive people view meetings as punishments rather than opportunities. Like school kids too many have the attitude that says, "Please don't call on me. Sad but true. Turn that notion on its head. By focusing on what you know (the business case for one) you can be the one that initiates conversations, asks good questions, and even puts a button on the meeting. Learn to be the one person who summarizes and punctuates key ideas. It's a good way to be remembered.

Learn to overcome objections. Not everyone will like your ideas or want to follow you blindly in to no man's land. There will be push-back. Get used to it. In fact, embrace questions and objections as opportunities to clarify your arguments or make your business case stronger. When you are confronted with questions, say thank you, pause and respond. If you don't have answer at your finger tips, say so, but let the questioner know that you will get back to him soon. Be specific. And then follow through. Acting flummoxed will pigeon-hole you as the shy person; responding promptly will demonstrate that you know your stuff.

Want to make it happen
The operative principle in change, however, is the willingness to make the change. No coach can overcome personal resistance. Managers can try, and sometimes are successful, by threatening dire consequences for failure to act. But most often the will to assert oneself comes from the confidence to deliver, not just in words but also with actions.

Most competent executives have no problem with the action part; that's what got them promoted in the first place. What they have issues with is verbalizing their action, that is, rallying people to a cause greater than themselves. You have to believe in yourself to do that, and such belief can only come from within. And that's where the action steps discussed above can help. When you make the business case and serve as a point person, you help to get things done. Lo and behold people start looking to you for advice and answers. And that's certainly a confidence builder! Lead on!


Assertiveness is an attribute of leadership presence. To watch a short video on leadership presence, visit www.johnbaldoni/askjohn. Select the first video, "What is Leadership Presence?